No B.S Friday: Confidence is a choice… but it has consequences.
I think I own most of my success in life to some advice my high school teacher gave me.
“You know Jon. You’re not as smart as you think you are.”
At the time I thought he was wrong. I had a sense that I was smarter than I could even imagine.
(And at least two and a half times smarter than him!)
But over time, I came to understand the truth of that sagely advice.
I still think I’m smart. (Where can you apply to get officially recognised as a genius? Vic Roads?)
But I’m aware that I’m often not as smart as I think I am.
I have a tendency to over-estimate my own abilities.
And that’s not an accident. I have deliberately cultivated an over-clocked sense of self-belief.
And why not?
Self-belief is a tool. It allows me to step into ventures and take on projects that a less-confident version of me just wouldn’t.
And it allows me to execute with more confidence and certainty than would otherwise be the case.
And people respond to my confidence. People go, “Well Jon seems to really know what he’s talking about. I’ll just get behind whatever he’s doing. It’s bound to turn out well.”
Self-confidence is extremely useful.
But the thing I need to be very conscious of is that my confidence is born out of self-image, not out of a clear-eyed rational accounting of the facts.
(And that’s not just about me either. This applies to people who lack self-confidence. Generally, it comes out of self-image, not reality.)
And so this creates a check-yourself moment for me.
If I’m feeling good about a project’s prospects, I need to take a breath and reflect. I need to ask myself honestly, do I feel good about this project because it genuinely is a good project, or do I feel good about it because I just have a high opinion of my own skills and abilities, and because I have trained myself to expect that anything I do is going to turn out well?
I need to put an extra hurdle in there to make sure I don’t do anything rash.
But it’s a price worth paying.
The world and the media and our own minds are conspiring to erode our self-confidence. Staying confident in the world takes discipline and regular practices.
But it is so worth it.
I feel the world respond to the confidence within me, and it always responds positively.
And the only thing I need to remember?
My confidence has been a conscious choice.
JG
Elena says
Beautiful article! Fun, sincere, inspiring and true!
I am like you.
Just loved it!!