No B.S Friday: You have to be open to receive.
“I think you’re stuck in hunter mode.”
“What are you talking about Jon?”
<Standard preamble about how I’m not a psychologist and just a guy who’s happy to have opinions about stuff and has never let being massively underqualified stop him from doing anything.>
“Well, think of it this way.
“Imagine you’re a caveman out hunting. You’ve got your snare set, and there’s a baby mammoth walking towards it. If this goes well, you’ll eat for the first time in a week, and eat well.
“You’re incredibly focused.
“At that moment a pretty cave-girl comes along and gives you a kiss on the cheek.
“You’re very annoyed. You bat her hand away. You might throw a rock at her.
“And it’s not that there was anything wrong with the kiss you received. In the right context, it would be a beautiful and nourishing thing to receive.
“But it wasn’t the right context. You were in hunter mode. Not in receiving affection mode.
“But the important thing to note here is that you set the context. You decide for yourself whether you’re in hunter mode or receiving mode.
“And what I think happens in the modern world is that we get stuck in hunter mode.
“In the old old days, hunter mode had a clear ending. You caught the baby mammoth, walked back into camp and announced, ‘I am ready for kisses now. Cave-ladies…’
“And so people probably moved fluidly between hunting mode and receiving mode.
“But modern life is not like that. There’s always more hunting to do. Always something else to do on the to do list.
“And so we don’t naturally switch ourselves out of hunting mode. We get stuck there.
“But if we’re stuck in hunting mode, then that means we’re unavailable to receive. If someone offers us affection or beauty or nourishing experiences, we bat their hand away and throw rocks at them.
“And that’s a problem because if we get stuck in hunting mode for too long – if we go without nourishment and affection for too long – life starts to lose its juice. It stops being fun. We forget how to smile. Everything feels kinda pointless. (Because hunting is something you do to make life possible. Hunting itself is not life.)
“And the other thing that happens is that we look for ways to draw enjoyment out of the hunting experience. Hunting has its own reward systems – meeting challenges, the thrill of the chase or the thrill of danger – these things are all programmed to feel rewarding.
“And so we get into adventure sports, or we watch sports, or we watch tense movies with high drama, or we hit the pub and go on a bender.
“We seek adventure, but never turn to nourishment.
“And so if you’re saying to me that you’re feeling completely drained and you don’t feel like there’s a point to life, that says to me that there might be a problem with how you nourish and energise yourself.
“And that might mean you’re stuck in hunter mode, and not switching over to receiving mode.
“And unfortunately, that’s on you now. You have to consciously make that choice to make the switch. You have to practice receiving – smelling flowers, cuddles from your children, a kiss from your pretty cave girl.
“You have to make a discipline of it.
“Otherwise the juice of life dries up. And then what’s the point?”
JG.