No B.S Friday: Sometimes you have to see it slip through your fingers to know what you truly want.
I reckon there’s a lot of politicians waking up this week feeling pretty disappointed.
Some will be relieved. Scomo looked relieved. But many had a vision of their careers, and they just had those hope and visions dashed.
Many are probably wallowing in some profound disappointment right now.
We should envy them.
We should envy those who miss out on what they truly want. We should envy those feeling so much disappointment that it stings – that they wake up into a dull sadness before they even remember what’s wrong.
They’re the lucky ones.
I’m serious. We should all pray to know profound disappointment a few times in our life.
Because I’m not sure you’ll be able to achieve really amazing things without it.
Now this isn’t just another “highs with the lows” idea. Disappointment is different. Disappointment is one of the ways we understand what it is we truly want.
Most of us spend our lives drifting. We have some idea of what we want, but not many of us take the time to lock it down – to clearly articulate it and hold a clear picture of it in our mind.
(Though on the road to success, perhaps nothing is so important.)
And if we are just drifting along with only vague ideas about what we truly want, sudden disappointment can come as a great teacher.
We miss out on a deal that was going to be our ticket. We miss out on a new job that sounded so much more exciting that our current one. Someone decides that they would just prefer the romantic company of someone else.
In these moments our hearts are stripped raw. They’re fully alive. The dull signals we normally get (muffled through the comforts of routine, heavy foods and tv) are replaced by intensity – the needle flapping wildly all over the red.
Here, in this moment, is a chance to get a full-bandwidth read on what it is our heart really wants. We don’t have to find a hill-top meditation spot to quietly tune in with ourselves. It’s coming in loud and clear. Almost too loud.
And so what’s there if we really listen? So we missed out on a job? What is it that we’re upset about missing out on? Was it the money? Was it a job that was more creatively exciting? Was it about getting out of this toxic cubicle farm and seeing more sun?
We’re able to get a clear read on what we really want. With that, we can start building strategies to make ourselves happier, right here and now. If it’s money, we can get some more mentoring to fast-track our investments. If it’s more sun, talk to the boss about working more from home in your lovely sun room.
Whatever. You get my point. When you have a clearer understanding of what it is you truly want, you can get more strategic about calling it into your life.
And really, there isn’t anything that a little sustained effort can’t achieve.
Disappointment then is a great teacher. Welcome him in and break open the nice packet of biscuits you have been saving for just this occasion.