No B.S Friday: My mate was depressed. I had one idea for him.
“If someone tells me to go for a walk again, I’m going to punch them in the throat!”
That was my mate a few years ago. He was dealing with a bit of depression (with a side-order of lack of sleep.)
And he was getting a bit sick of all the simplistic ‘help’ he was getting.
But he did ask me what I reckon, and you know, I have written a lot about this stuff, so I did ask myself what I would say to someone in his situation.
And look, in case it needs repeating, I don’t know anything. I’m a money guy, not a mind guy. If you are struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. It could be the best money you ever spend.
Do it.
Anyway, there was one thought I wanted to leave my mate with and it was this:
Context matters.
People in general put way too much emphasis on their own role in their depression.
We should totally remember that the way society is structured is hopelessly incompatible with happiness. Like it almost seems designed to make people miserable.
We know what makes people happy. “Happiness Studies” is it’s own branch of psychology now and it’s very advanced.
And on every measure that matters – from autonomy over time, to meaningful contribution to the world, to rich social connections – the rat race of working 40+hour weeks, tethered to a device of some sort, is a total freaking FAILURE.
Seriously, the fact we’re not tearing each other’s eyes out like some rats in a cage is actually a sort of miracle to me.
We burn all our productive energy on ‘bullshit’ jobs that probably do next to nothing to make the world a better place for anybody (unless you’re a nurse or a teacher in which case you probably have your own dramas to deal with).
And with the scraps of time left over, we’re supposed to somehow build a meaningful life, a healthy body, and a network of rich social connections.
How? How are you supposed to do that?
The odds are massively stacked against us.
And so my recommendation to everyone is take some comfort in this.
You are performing miracles on a daily basis. We all are.
And we create this myth – this Instagram Profile – that says that we should all be happy and healthy with little beach bodies, despite the relentless onslaught of BS we have to put up with.
If you’re not able to put up with, good! It means you still have some life left in you.
So if you are feeling depressed (and I totally get it) just be open to the idea that it makes total sense. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to a perfectly effed-up world.
So go easy on yourself tiger.
This was never meant to be easy.
JG.
Debbie says
Oh! I just went and read my Bro the last bit of this.. We had a relieved laugh as we are both depressed & in our 60’s . This made me feel so much better about being depressed as I have got through most of my life keeping depression at bay & in the Being Happy is Healthy mode! But have been questioning lately, how can anyone be truly Happy in this world at the moment! It is sick & corrupted & there is only so much energy I have in this body to fight against that! So to hear you affirm this is really helpful! ! Thanks Debbie