Letting go of ‘right and wrong’ is key step in opening the way to wealth and financial freedom. But being selfish and greedy is not. So just how do we walk that line.
“You’ve got to let go of right and wrong.”
This is something I tell a lot of the people who come to me for mentoring advice. And it’s often one of the hardest lessons to take on.
And often the people who find it most difficult are the same people have no trouble making sacrifices to save an extra $100 a week. Get up an hour early to do some research, or practices new skills. Make time in their life for networking and seminars.
The framework of right and wrong is something that’s been ingrained very, very deeply into our psyches.
It starts in school, if not earlier. As soon as we’ve left the house we’re put in a world where there’s a right way to do things. And people are very quick to let us know if we’ve done it the right or wrong way.
You fill out a spelling test, hand it in, and it comes back to you with a score in a big red circle, letting you know how much you got right, and how much you got wrong.
And on and on it goes, through the schooling years. Maths tests, biology quizzes. Even when the task gets more complicated, like writing poetry or an English essay, we still pretend it’s a simple task, a matter of right and wrong, and you get a score, relative to a perfect 100. You got 85% right. 15% wrong.
The whole education system is set up on abstraction-based skill development. You construct an abstract context (Jane has 5 apples. She gives two to John…), and you can ignore everything else and focus on the skill you want to practice (subtraction).
And you know, I guess it works. We learn some skills.
Trouble is, most real world problems aren’t abstract. They exist in a complex world where everything is connected, and many things (including the future) are completely unknown. And if it can’t be made abstract, then it can’t be simplified down into a simple right or wrong.
And so there’s no ‘right’ answer.
And so a lot of people ask me about the ‘right’ place to put their money. But that question leads you up the garden path. One property has better prospects for capital growth. Another delivers better cashflow. How do you choose? It’s apples and oranges.
And if there’s a right way, it also implies that there’s a ‘wrong’ way. There’s a wrong place to put your money.
And I’ve seen this idea paralyse a lot of people. They’re afraid of getting it ‘wrong’. And so they spend hours and hours researching, reading things from all over the web, talking to every expert they can back into a corner at cocktail party.
And they get frustrated that all this work isn’t showing them what the ‘right’ answer is. They don’t feel any closer than when they started. They start to think that they must be stupid. Dysfunctional.
It doesn’t occur to them that there is no ‘right’ answer.
Because it’s not just the concepts of ‘right and wrong’ that we’ve bought into. It’s a whole framework for problem solving and decision making.
There’s a problem. Discard everything that’s not relevant. Work with what’s left. Find the ‘right answer’.
Q: Jane has 5 apples. She gives two apples to John. She gives one apple to Bob. How many apples does Jane have left?
A: What? Why did she give more apples to John? What’s their history? Or is she trying to hide her affections for Bob by giving him less apples? Maybe Bob wants to get his hands on John’s apples…
Grade: FAIL. Jon Giaan needs to learn to apply himself to the task at hand.
We’re not taught how to deal with complex problems where there is no clear right and wrong. And people, like me, who get fascinated by the big-picture, struggle through the system, or drop out altogether.
And the thing is, it’s possible to get through life without learning how to deal with complexity at all. If you want to keep replicating the context where someone tells you what’s right and what’s wrong, then you can get a job working for somebody. There’s a right button to push. A wrong lever to pull.
And so the school system sets us up to be wonderful cogs in someone else’s machine.
But if we want to get away from machines all together, we suddenly find ourselves in a complex world where there is no right and wrong.
And for a lot of us, it pulls the floor right out from under our feet. We’re completely lost.
And so I often find it’s the dedicated and the diligent who have the hardest time with investing “outside the system” – which, if you’ve been reading my blogs, is where the real money is.
And the people who thrive, folks like your Richard Bransons, did it because they just didn’t give a toss about the rule book. They don’t worry about right and wrong. They just do what they’re inspired to do.
And so we need to let go of our attachment to right and wrong. Soften our focus, and enjoy the complex big picture.
And I know this idea scares a lot of people. They feel like right and wrong are the two rails that keep them on the right track. If they give it up, then they’ll become a horrible person. They’ll become selfish, greedy, mean, vindictive, fat.
But look at this story. What are you saying about yourself? You are essentially a horrible monster who needs rules to stop you from eating babies and pushing old ladies over.
The people who make the rules, they want you to believe that.
(Think about that for a second.)
No. You are fundamentally and essentially a beautiful person. And if you realise that you’ve learnt some skills and you can let go of the ‘right and wrong’ framework, you’ll still be a beautiful person.
And suddenly, investing, and every other complex thing in your life, will become a whole lot easier.
Am I right?
JD says
Thanks Jon… I am beautiful 🙂
Bill says
Youre right onto it Jon. I like to think there is no right or wrong, only better or worse, depending on the context. Some people think that’s arrogant and may lead to doing immoral and unjust things but I also check to see if there is any harm to others in the decisions I make.
con says
You are right Jon but that doesn’t really matter does it?
What really matters is the essence of what you are saying
Always refeshing in everything you have to say…thank you
Lou baker says
As usual you take a very complex problem and try to say that there is a really simple answer. Think about this. If you get rid of right and wrong where does that leave society. The churches, the legal system and punishment for wrong. Unfortunately history teaches us that humans are by nature monsters that do eat babies (just look at any war type conflict and recent examples in Serbia and Africa and of course good ol USA orchestrated violence in Iraq and elsewhere under the ruse of self Defence). Even in the best country in the world (not Australia) they do push old ladies down and rape them. Just because we live at the arse end of the world and avoid a lot by ocean distance does not mean we are the only good fellows in the world. Our willingness to drown refugees proves this.
But your biggest problem is that if you were to succeed with the your line of argument you will become irrelevant and be the cause of the collapse of the business coaching industry. Is that the legacy you want to be remembered for?
JD says
I think you may have taken what John has written a little too far. He isn’t saying that there is NO wrong or right, but rather that the world is not as simple as we need it to be for our ‘Educated’ minds to succeed.
The world is not simple or black and white. Accept it and enjoy it.
Andrew Mc says
I think what Jon is trying to say is to be more thoughtful and open mind about things beyond just what we are told to believe by standard authority figures like the mainstream media. I think there does need to be a notion of what is morally and ethically right (not to kill or harm others, etc) built into our society but beyond that there are no simple answers.
I agree with you Jon that the way our school system teaches us to memorise a and repeat a set answer without questioning is harmful and holding us back from reaching our true potential. The ‘do what your told’ mentality is stifling our natural creativity and curiosity and is only serving to keep things going the way they are, which is not necessarily for the better of our society and the world. In fact I would even go so far as to say that our tendency to boil things down to just ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘goodies’ and ‘baddies’ has actually been the cause of much suffering in the world including justification of many wars and other crimes against humanity.
If we continue to just do what we’re told without questioning we will just end up with more of the same of what we have in the world. One of the reasons I love science so much is they dare to question everything we know and are always in pursuit of new ideas and knowledge. It’s inspiring and something that we should all strive to do also.
And lastly I don’t think Jon is making himself redundant by saying this, he is one of the few commentators that really look creatively into the issues at hand and encourage you to question the standard information at hand, so his thoughts will always be welcomed and valuable in a free thinking society.
ian says
What Jon has said is basically correct. However the concept of right and wrong for investing is not what I see as the same as the right and wrong of what humanity does to itself. With investing it is more important to make the best decision you can rather than no decision (or no action) at all. With humanity it is sometimes better for countries to take no action than take an aggressive approach.
But in both cases it doesn’t matter what we all do so long as we use honesty, integrity, morality, compassion and ethics in all of our actions and activities. This should be the foundation of what we all practice.
lilmis says
That was a very enjoyable read! Thank you! I think people only do bad things because there is inbalance and desire in society. In nature there is equality and this creates harmony, balance and freedom. Systems like the church and corrupt governments have created right and wrong as a form of power, control and manipulation. When you become a free thinker you create a freedom for yourself which has no right and wrong. The only thing that ruins this is the rest of society that still live by a primitive way of thinking/ lack of awareness.
spirited13 says
Thanks Jon….Love your insights…Have a wonderful week! Barbara
Mark says
Maybe you’re right!
joe petranov says
To sum it up…
1/ .think oitside the square .
2/. dont be narrow minded and follow like sheep …
3/ question constraints on society there is always a hidden agenda behind all
4/ educate yourself
5/ 10 commandments help clear the right wrong issues