Is this an abundant world or not? Then why are so many people frustrated?
“I never saw anyone miss out on anything they truly wanted.”
Yes. I said that.
Yes, it was a little late at night and yes, I had a few drinks in the belly. Yes, I was just letting the mouth run on auto-pilot.
But I think I really meant it.
My friends looked at me with that, “Is it time to call Jon an Uber already?” look.
So I let it slide and the conversation moved on, but the thought stuck with me.
I wondered if it was true. It certainly felt true at the time.
In my mind it has to be true in theory. I believe in an abundant world, and I totally believe we have creative power with our lives.
So if you truly wanted something, and you could create that experience, why wouldn’t an abundant cosmos just get on board and give you that holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula?
But while this has been my experience – watching the tides of time and dreams carve wonderful shapes into the cliff faces of experience – I know it’s not everyone’s.
In fact, I’d probably say the most common experience on earth is a deep frustration at not getting what you want.
So how can I believe you always get what you truly want, when so many people feel so intensely frustrated? I’d have to be a fool to fly against such overwhelming evidence.
(Just for the record, I can’t reliably rule out that I am not a fool. There’s a lot of supporting evidence for that too.)
So I how do I square this away. How can it be true that people always get what they truly want, and yet so many people experience frustration?
So I’ve got two thoughts for you today.
1. The deeper want always wins.
I’d argue that people are mostly just a complex kaleidoscope of conflicting wants. For example, I want six pack abs, but I also want to drink a kiddie pool’s worth of wine and go out for kebabs afterwards.
My wants are in conflict.
And sometimes we might say we want something, but deeper down, we actually want something else.
For example, I have a friend. She can be a little bit of a Negative Nancy but she has the awareness to recognise that, and the way it stunts some of her relationships.
And she says that she wants to be more positive and out-going.
But as I said to her, I think the reality is a little different. In her case I think she’s afraid of being vulnerable, so she keeps everything very close to her chest. She’s afraid to step into that uncensored space where things can be exciting and you can get excited about someone else’s project.
And so in this case, she gets exactly what she wants. Throwing out wet blankets of negativity means that she never has to emotionally invest in the conversation. She’s got nothing at stake.
She’s safe and she’s got exactly what she wants.
So to get to that level of manifestation that I’ve enjoyed at times in my life, and I’ve seen other successful people enjoy, you need to make your want your number 1 want – your deepest want.
You’ve got to want six pack abs more than the greasy joy of kebabs.
You’ve got to want the vulnerable joy of positivity more than the safety of negativity.
You’ve got to place all your minor wants in service to your King want.
This is hard work. But if you can do that, then success is as simple as wanting.
2. You can’t want to be someone else.
I remember somewhere somehow I stumbled on to a young American woman’s pitch tape to Hollywood on Youtube.
She was awful. Her acting sucked, and she wasn’t pretty enough for Hollywood’s fickle standards.
She was never going to make it.
But she started her pitch with, “I know that if you want something hard enough, it’s yours, and I’m going to be a star.”
And the time I had no doubt in my mind that she was definitely NOT going to be a star, but she certainly did seem to want it.
So why wouldn’t she get it?
My theory is, and its kind of an extension of the first, is that while she did want to be a star, the reason that she wanted to be a star was to fill a painful hole inside of herself.
She wanted to be a star, because she wanted approval and she wanted to be loved.
And since she didn’t think she was worthy of love, she wanted to be somebody else. Someone more glamorous and awesome that who she actually was.
1st rule of Genie club – you can’t wish to be somebody else.
There simply isn’t any way that the universe can make that dream come true for you. Sorry boss.
And if you build the tower of your wants on a want to be somebody else – nothing will come to fruition. It just can’t. You’ll only know frustration.
And the truth of it is that power lies in the body. Disconnection your wanting from the body is like disconnection the steering wheel from the rest of the car.
You might be choosing your directions, but you’re not going anywhere.
So that’s my thoughts. Ultimately, I stand by what I said. “I’ve never seen anyone miss out on anything they truly wanted.”
Is it true? Or is it just the yabbering of a drunken fool? Or both? (Actually, don’t answer that.)