How this apology saved my faith in politics.
Wow. Did you see the apology Dan Andrews just made?
My Fellow Victorians,
I muffed it. I’m deeply sorry.
I am so sorry that our half-arsed brain-fart of a quarantine policy failed. I’m so sorry that it means that life can’t go back to normal. That face masks are mandatory. That you’re not allowed to go to Queensland… or anywhere.
I’m sorry for the businesses that will be forced to close. I’m sorry for the people who will lose their jobs. I’m sorry to everyone in hospitality, events, the arts, tourism… actually just everyone.
We messed up. Every other state got it right. Jacinda Ardern in NZ is making us look like idiots. But we got it wrong.
We knew what best practice was, but we didn’t listen.
We knew that our system had problems on day one. We didn’t listen.
In the midst of a pandemic, we had one job. We muffed it.
I’m so sorry.
No, of course he’s not saying that.
Politicians don’t say stuff like that.
Politicians have one job – to get re-elected. That is literally all that matters.
I mean sure, we can tack on a whole bunch of secondary objectives. Like, I don’t know, stopping a global pandemic from carving through the population and the economy like a wrecking ball.
But these things are always secondary.
(Actually, raising money from their corporate mates is probably secondary. All these other things are tertiary.)
And so if you’re holding your breath waiting for an apology, you won’t catch coronavirus, but you will still probably die before you get one.
But of course, Victorians are angry. Andrews is going to cop a thrashing in the polls.
I mean, no he’s not!
The majority of Victorians – 53% – think the government is doing a “good” job!
Seriously, what planet and/or state are these people living in?
Finding ourselves at the far end of the earth gave us a massive head start. We had a pretty good sense of what was coming before it got here.
And the Good Lord had provided us with a massive great moat around the entire country, just to make it even easier.
And so our governments had one job – making sure the quarantine program for re-entry was water-tight.
It was just one job.
So in what universe do 53% of Victorians think the government is doing a ‘good’ job?
“Yeah, they really muffed the pandemic thing, but their work on developing planning protocols for temperate wetlands has been exceptional.”
And look, don’t get me wrong. I’m proud of Victoria. I’m proud of the way people are putting their heads down and getting through this. I’m proud of the people working hard on the front-lines.
But I’m really trying hard to hang on to the skerrick of faith I had left in our political systems. I really am.
Stay stoic Jon. Stay stoic.