Is this an abundant world or not? Then why are so many people frustrated?
“I never saw anyone miss out on anything they truly wanted.”
Yes. I said that.
Yes, it was a little late at night and yes, I had a few drinks in the belly. Yes, I was just letting the mouth run on auto-pilot.
But I think I really meant it.
My friends looked at me with that, “Is it time to call Jon an Uber already?” look.
So I let it slide and the conversation moved on, but the thought stuck with me.
I wondered if it was true. It certainly felt true at the time.
In my mind it has to be true in theory. I believe in an abundant world, and I totally believe we have creative power with our lives.
So if you truly wanted something, and you could create that experience, why wouldn’t an abundant cosmos just get on board and give you that holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula?
But while this has been my experience – watching the tides of time and dreams carve wonderful shapes into the cliff faces of experience – I know it’s not everyone’s.
In fact, I’d probably say the most common experience on earth is a deep frustration at not getting what you want.
So how can I believe you always get what you truly want, when so many people feel so intensely frustrated? I’d have to be a fool to fly against such overwhelming evidence.
(Just for the record, I can’t reliably rule out that I am not a fool. There’s a lot of supporting evidence for that too.)
So I how do I square this away. How can it be true that people always get what they truly want, and yet so many people experience frustration?
So I’ve got two thoughts for you today.
1. The deeper want always wins.
I’d argue that people are mostly just a complex kaleidoscope of conflicting wants. For example, I want six pack abs, but I also want to drink a kiddie pool’s worth of wine and go out for kebabs afterwards.
My wants are in conflict.
And sometimes we might say we want something, but deeper down, we actually want something else.
For example, I have a friend. She can be a little bit of a Negative Nancy but she has the awareness to recognise that, and the way it stunts some of her relationships.
And she says that she wants to be more positive and out-going.
But as I said to her, I think the reality is a little different. In her case I think she’s afraid of being vulnerable, so she keeps everything very close to her chest. She’s afraid to step into that uncensored space where things can be exciting and you can get excited about someone else’s project.
And so in this case, she gets exactly what she wants. Throwing out wet blankets of negativity means that she never has to emotionally invest in the conversation. She’s got nothing at stake.
She’s safe and she’s got exactly what she wants.
So to get to that level of manifestation that I’ve enjoyed at times in my life, and I’ve seen other successful people enjoy, you need to make your want your number 1 want – your deepest want.
You’ve got to want six pack abs more than the greasy joy of kebabs.
You’ve got to want the vulnerable joy of positivity more than the safety of negativity.
You’ve got to place all your minor wants in service to your King want.
This is hard work. But if you can do that, then success is as simple as wanting.
2. You can’t want to be someone else.
I remember somewhere somehow I stumbled on to a young American woman’s pitch tape to Hollywood on Youtube.
She was awful. Her acting sucked, and she wasn’t pretty enough for Hollywood’s fickle standards.
She was never going to make it.
But she started her pitch with, “I know that if you want something hard enough, it’s yours, and I’m going to be a star.”
And the time I had no doubt in my mind that she was definitely NOT going to be a star, but she certainly did seem to want it.
So why wouldn’t she get it?
My theory is, and its kind of an extension of the first, is that while she did want to be a star, the reason that she wanted to be a star was to fill a painful hole inside of herself.
She wanted to be a star, because she wanted approval and she wanted to be loved.
And since she didn’t think she was worthy of love, she wanted to be somebody else. Someone more glamorous and awesome that who she actually was.
1st rule of Genie club – you can’t wish to be somebody else.
There simply isn’t any way that the universe can make that dream come true for you. Sorry boss.
And if you build the tower of your wants on a want to be somebody else – nothing will come to fruition. It just can’t. You’ll only know frustration.
And the truth of it is that power lies in the body. Disconnection your wanting from the body is like disconnection the steering wheel from the rest of the car.
You might be choosing your directions, but you’re not going anywhere.
So that’s my thoughts. Ultimately, I stand by what I said. “I’ve never seen anyone miss out on anything they truly wanted.”
Is it true? Or is it just the yabbering of a drunken fool? Or both? (Actually, don’t answer that.)
Roger Lanham says
I absolutely agree with you Jon and have always thought that this is fundamentally correct although there are some obvious exceptions at the extreme limits of human endeavour ie its probably difficult to see how one could become the fastest man on the planet if you have a physical deformity or indeed a brain surgeon if you are of below average intelligence and suffer from the shakes. That said I tend to articulate this slightly differently and my saying would be ‘that most folks are pretty well where they want to be’ otherwise they would change it which dove tails nicely into your example about wanting great abs but not wanting to put in the training for them or being willing to watch your diet. Again the No 1 want wins out.
I enjoy reading your thoughts and appreciate the effort you go to in sharing them with us.
Good work, pour yourself another wine.
Kind regards Roger
KiwiAl says
“I never saw anyone miss out on anything they truly wanted.”
“I’ve never seen anyone miss out on anything they truly wanted.”
Jon, you are seeing double! Which one did you want?
Can’t argue with that two, Jon. Quite cleverly formulated, actually! Who can argue with what you have “seen” or not.
Even if you saw someone, where you watching when they missed out, and how would you know anyway? Besides, how long does it take to miss out, and when exactly can it be deemed to have happened? Who decides? It’s completely subjective!
Yep, definitely, have another drink!
KiwiAl says
P.S. I think the problem with the world is that it is not truly abundant.
There just aren’t enough resources to satisfy the wants of 7 billion people. Of course, the Internet and the Media are just making the whole problem much worse, by holding up all these seemingly desirable (but wholly unnecessary) things for people to see, and want.
All just bringing out our innate envy, greed and covetousness… Inciting us all to fight and kill one another. It’s all about greed, really. Where are the Space Lizards!?
Happiness exists in the heart, not on the deck of a fancy yacht, or whatever, or wherever.
Rick says
Hi KiwiAl, Professor Paul Zane Pilzer, an economic adviser to President Reagan, wrote a book entitled “Unlimited Wealth”. Here’s just one example from it. Oil was once that filthy black stuff that lay around the desert making Arab sandals dirty. Today it powers western prosperity.
What made the difference? The ingenuity and creativity that God endowed us with! So resources are really only limited by God-given human ingenuity – having the wisdom to know how to work with God’s creation.
Left-wing scaremongers want us to live in fear of limited resources, climate change, “bosses” and who knows what else. They are trying to scare us into accepting the need for more centralized power to solve the “problems” they created. Their aim is one-world government under an armed and dangerous United Nations.
56% of UN member countries who get a vote in the UN wont give their own people a fair vote. So life under that regime would be dictatorial with lavish amounts of political correctness to inhibits freedom of speech and religion.
CroJoe says
Phillosophy school of true happiness
1. Ask what you can do for your fellow man ….before yourself
2. Love Jesus and what he has done for us
3. God made u perfect the way u are …. get comfortable with that ….why would u want to be someone else (with their issues )
4. Dont covet material goods or what your friends may have ….leads to envy and jealousy .
Rick says
Jon, if we always get our deepest wants, how can you explain the “wants” of the multiplied millions who suffer oppression from dictators, disease or poverty? Your new-age belief could only be countenanced by people in common law countries who enjoy the justice, freedom and prosperity built by generations of Christians who risked and often gave up their lives for it. (The historical evidence for this is carefully documented in my book “Playing God – the roots of the republican grab for ultimate power”, now out of print, but available from the Parliamentary and other libraries).
Surely you don’t really believe that an impersonal “universe” can do anything for you or anyone else. Science today has made that kind of new-age thinking moribund. Get hold of a DVD entitled “Unlocking the Mystery of LIfe”. It was put together by a group of leading scientists. By showing what goes on in living cells (magnified 50,000 times) they allow non-scientists to understand how it is now valid for science to infer that life was intelligently designed.
Obviously, science can’t say who the designer was. But their work was rigorous enough scientifically to persuade the world’s most notorious and highly regarded academic atheist, Oxford Professor Anthony Flew, to write his book “There is a God.” Their work likewise affected leading scientists like Sir Fred Hoyle and his disciple Dr Paul Davies (now at ANU).
From a philosophical point of view it is simply incomprehensible that an impersonal “universe” could give rise to personality. Darwin’s correspondence with other scientists reveals that he knew his theory did not explain how life “evolved”, it considered only how “species” might have evolved. Now that we understand how the information in DNA orders cellular life and growth, we know that evolution only explains “point” mutations. It cannot explain the major differences between the species and certainly does not explain the origin of life.
As Dr Lee Spetner says in his book “Not by Chance”: “The neo-Darwinians would like us to believe that large evolutionary changes can result from a series of small events if there are enough of them. But if these events all lose information they can’t be the steps in the kind of evolution the neo-Darwinian Theory is supposed to explain, no matter haw many mutations there are. Whoever thinks macroevolution can be made by mutations that lose information is like the merchant who lost a little money on every sale but thought he could make it up on volume.”
Simon says
Another trend is following this responsibility gospel,
touched on by Gladwell in Outliers, you need to apply some luck to your time and talent,
there’s quite a collection of people who made money early in life, went bankrupt, and couldn’t replicate it, they had the same talent, but not the same luck.
Tom says
Or as Jon describes, they wanted (in the old sense of ‘lacked’) ‘that burning, all consuming desire’. So you might say, “they wanted the want”.
Simon says
You’re describing a mental illness, liking money and working hard and smart is common ambition, but when it becomes a burning, all consuming desire, you need meds, and your neighbours need to be warned.
Luke says
What’s with all the bible bashers on this blog
There could be abundance on earth, eg free energy, however the human monkeys can’t be trusted with unlimited power.
The bible bashes say man was created in his image, well I can’t wait to meet the pathetic God.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Simon says
Think image in terms of wanting to create, wanting order over chaos, rather than physical likeness,
Israelites were forbidden to make an image of rocks or metal, ‘because God is a spirit and you must worship in spirit and in truth’ imagine what those words would mean if someone followed them.
ron goddard says
hi jonno, another remarkable insight into the makings of a lusting human being. did i mention some time ago that civilisation reminds one of a roving band of barbarians, always on the ‘make’, forever desiring the undesirable?. what makes you happy? choices? money? women.? er no to that one lol. someone told me that happiness comes from within. that fancy new car after say three months is just a car. lots of anything lessens the value or intrigue of that thing which is supposed to make us ‘happy’. but i do remember that when i started my own business in 1987(just prior to the ‘crash’ ;( stock market), i made over $300,000(equivalent to say $2,000,000 now) in my first year i was very bouyed indeed. i never looked back. happiness came with extravagance. but i pulled up quickly on that one because i could see a slow down coming. so my dream of being a successful real estate agent came true. now i want to do it again. my wife is very encouraging. at 78 years i can feel the urge to do well again. money is not the issue. satisfaction is what i want; in doing a good job for my clients. if you do the job well the rewards will follow. anyway what ‘money’ do we have? fiat promisary notes from a malignant government whose only care is for perks and lurks and positions of power. it is gonna be a very interesting future after the yank elections. the excitement will build no doubt. but can we then wish and yearn for PEACE in the world to enjoy what kind of life we have or want? just lets not get religion involved. that will ruin the whole shooting match. islam vs jew vs christian vs etc. etc. lets ask the ‘god’ to get out of the way. i have been having serious thoughts about the bible. is it a con? set up by the know alls of long ago? and force fed to us so that we cannot think for ourselves and listen only to the drivel like f…ng virgin mary. i ask you with tears in my voice..how the fuck can a person be born outside the womb. i have listened to many explanations given by very ‘intelligent’ people. maybe jesus was an arrival planet x and ennexed himself to mary. hmm good thought. see ya soon
Tom says
Michael
Mosely, Todd Sampson and others have in recent times been showing us how
under-utilised our brains are.
Revival of some ancient traditions such as Reiki has cast a small light on human powers we have been unaware of for too long, because our Western scientific traditions have not yet come up with satisfactory explanations. There is no money to be made by the big multi-nationals which control our whole cultural milieu, so it is left to the ‘cranks’ to explore the potentials.
In most religions, in order to maintain their dominance, religious/political leaders have removed from the community any person who has been able to utilise the more unusual powers of the human brain.
Such people, often branded as witches & warlocks, were a threat to their self-appointed positions of power, because they highlight the bogus claims to authority coming from their man-made gods.
Until we give genuine consideration to such matters, society will continue to be dominated by those self-serving, self-appointed ‘religious/political authorities’ who would much prefer to see the status quo maintained, than to have to suffer the indignity of seeing their whole religious structure dismantled, brick by brick, letting in the light of reason.
But don’t hold your breath!!! The powers behind the throne will do their darnedest to hang on to their cash cows – ‘Sacred Cows’ though they may be.
Alan Maurice says
damn! another re-realisation! Thanks Jon
nata says
I loved the article, it make me think about my deep wants.
You gave an excellent example of how people can’t be someone else. Someone
wants to be famous because they want love, but they don’t believe they are worthy
of love, hence they want to be someone else and this is not possible to
achieve. Can you discuss this situation for someone who wants to create financial
freedom by building up passive income? It would be very helpful to identify examples
of people with this goal wanting to be someone else. Thanks.