Someone stole my car this week. I even surprised myself at how relaxed I was. This is the secret…
So I’m getting ready to come into work Monday morning, I head down to the drive… no car.
I go back inside and ask Connie, “Babe, did you move the merc?” (She knows I don’t like her driving it. Not since that incident at Safeway.)
“No, love.”
I start scratching my head. Did I lend it to someone? Did I blackout on tequila and lose it in a round of poker with Asian gangsters again?
Then it drops. Someone has nicked my car. Ahhh.
Not that I can blame them. It was a very sweet ride. Top of the line Mercedes, $150K off the floor. Here’s a picture.
(I’ll miss that number plate too.)
At this point I’m feeling fairly relaxed about the whole business. The only thing that’s annoying is that I now know that this will chew up most of my Monday morning. I like to use Mondays to power into the week. Filling out the paper work for a stolen vehicle doesn’t feel like such a good use of time.
It’s more of a Friday arvo type task, you know.
So anyway, the police come round to take a statement. Connie makes us coffee and I run them through the details – make, model etc.
Connie was surprised at how well I was taking it. And it’s true, I wasn’t upset at all, and I was trying out my line of gags to make with a policeman.
The policeman starts to get a little suspicious. The line of questioning changes. “When did you buy it? Where did you buy it from? Did you just use cash? What do you do for a living? Do you have any ‘debts’ to people that we should know about?”
I realise that he thinks I’m some sort of drug dealer who doesn’t care about losing a $150,000 car because I’ve got a shipping container full of cash down at Port Melbourne.
I humour him – run him through the basics of my business and how I made my money.
But it makes me realise that I probably am having an unusual reaction to losing such a nice car. I mean, even Connie is surprised.
It gets me wondering. I know I do have unusual reactions to things (hellooo subdivision with two-storey townhouse development potential), and those points of difference often seem to be why I’ve done so well in life.
So I think there’s two reasons why I was so chill.
1. Material things vs experiences
First up, the car is just a car. It’s just a thing.
I know that sounds trite, and every Christmas we’re flooded with television specials reminding us of the ‘true’ meaning of Christmas. It’s something that everyone agrees with.
But it is not a truth that everyone lives.
I think it requires a certain level of maturity. I mean, I remember when the kids were young. Christmas ended up being quite stressful for us because we had to make sure that the kids presents were precisely balanced.
If there was even the smallest perception of imbalance and “unfairness”, then oh, there’d be dramas – tears of anger and frustration at the injustice of it all.
We grow out of it eventually. We come into the world primed to believe that our happiness is directly connected to things that we own. In time, and with a certain level of self-awareness, we come to realise that it’s not really ‘things’ that make us happy – it’s our experiences.
(And the experience of being in relationship with a loved one is probably the most important experience.)
And for me, where I’m at in life right now, when I dream about the future, it just doesn’t involve ‘things’ anymore. These days, my life goals are all experiences.
So when I lose a car, I lose a thing, and so what? In fact, if anything it opens me up to new experiences – maybe I’ll just let Uber take care of all my transport needs. Maybe I’ll see how a Porsche drives.
I realise that it might be easier for me to feel unattached to my material possessions because I live in such material abundance. But the truth of the lesson is the same no matter what stage of life you’re in – realise that experiences are the flavour of life, and give your energy to creating experiences, not accumulating things.
This is the true meaning of Christmas shopping.
2. Abundance Mentality
The other lesson I’m taking from this is that an abundance mentality really insulates you from suffering.
When they stole my car, I didn’t have a sense of ‘loss’. Rather, it just felt like things were moving around. My car goes to someone else. A new car will come to me, or other ways will emerge.
Maybe I’ll end up on a tram, striking up a conversation with my next business partner. Who knows what the universe has in mind?
The point is that with a scarcity worldview, your loss is someone else’s gain and it means less for you. You perceive it as a disadvantage and a kind of suffering.
In an abundance worldview, there’s no shortage of things to go around. If someone takes your car, there are other cars, there are other opportunities brewing. There’s no need to get upset. It’s just the universe engineering more awesomeness for your benefit.
I think the discipline of an abundance worldview is letting go of the idea that you know what is best – that you know which material things at which time are going to maximise your happiness.
Seriously the world is just too complex, (and in my mind, too intelligent). One door closes and another door opens. Just trust it and follow where it leads you.
Anyway, that’s my thoughts on how to deal with a stolen car. Love to know how you deal with loss.
Oh, and I was going to say if you see my car out on the road, let me know. But in fact, don’t worry about. Give the new driver a wave and wish them all the best from me.
It really was a sweet ride.
hi jonno. good ideas. why aren’t we taught these things at school? 🙂 you are are right a new car is great for 3 months then its just another car. things don’t make you happy..you make you happy. it is how you respond to adversity not how you react to it is the difference. cars are tuppence a dozen..but a loving wife or partner is so dear to one. just wondering..the car was insured? lol cheers, ron.
Thanks John this really goes with the Wayne Dyer book that I am listening to now (courtesy of Dymphna) where he talks about each thing that happens in our lives is what is meant to be and there is a lesson to either be learned from or ignored. Good Karma to you.
F#ck you, tell that to a kid who gets squashed by a bombed building in Syria.
Not true! People make choices. A thief stole because he chose to! People’s choices either bless or hurt. You shouldn’t just blindly accept everything in life and call it “the will of the universe”.
No one wants to steal my 2005 model Ford Falcon wagon. Maybe your next car should be something like mine and you can park it anywhere and not even bother locking it. It is also a nice ride.
Actually, the most commonly stolen cars are 20 y o nissan pulsars cars owned by poor people,
My friends car was stolen from the train station, she borrowed the 2G off her mum, so she could get to uni and work as an overseas student, and her car got stolen and burned, and the cops tried to charge her $350 for the towing of the burnt wreck.
If it’s insured no point in worrying. You just get your money back or a new car from the insurance company 🙂
Hi John you have a terrific grasp of spirituality and our place/role in the Universe and how we can make the most of our time here and be happy. I guess it is what has allowed you to have insight and attract abundance. Socialists would label you as a capitalist rogue for taking advantage of the property bubble at the expense of the little man. The bubble which has ensued is sitting up those capitalists for a fall in the impending stock market and property crash. However, who knows maybe they will just keep on rocketing up, but surely not forever?
Yeah, maybe. Not skiting, are you?
Tell me, would you really be thinking / feeling / talking like this if it wasn’t insured? See, you haven’t actually lost it, just swapped it for the money. Much easier than having to sell it, really. Like when my wife’s car got written off while it was parked. Easy as. No stress. We traded up to a better car for her, when we saw how flimsy that other one was. (A van backed into it. Admittedly, pretty fast. Shoved it half a metre. Not that badly damaged, but enough to write it off.)
Hope the Insurance Company does pay out. They’re getting “a bit tighter” these days. Better not to act too blase with them.
I’m wondering how they got away with it without setting off the alarm etc. I guess it has keyless ignition and all the jazz? So I guess they were pro’s. Are the all keys still in your possession? Or, did they lift them from your house? That could be awkward…
But I guess you’ll never see it again.
You’d hope so. Getting a contaminated ride back after they’ve thrashed it half to death is not so good.
Do let us know which way it turns out.
As for me, I just hate that feeling of violation. Having some creep wandering on to our property and setting to work stealing our stuff. If it was parked out on the road, maybe not so much, but we’ve had people walk into our house while we were home, looking to steal from us. So damn blatant. It’s not such a nice feeling. Built a big fence after that.
LOL..”give them a wave and wish them luck” ;- they will need all the luck they can get not to be caught!
Seriously though..love how you respond to this situation..we don’t have a fancy car, well not yet anyways, nor may we choose not to have one in the future when our finances are such that we are able to as we don’t hold much value on material things in life. Happiness is an attitude, not based on things.
Even so I’m still striving for more wealth and better income stream..money gives us more choices as to how to live our lives and also gives us more ability to help others and that to us is important. Have fun deciding on your new mode of transport, as they say “enjoy the ride” (pun intended).
These are professional thieves, not an average of working poor, they create a trail of miserly including my friend who was foolish enuf to buy a nice car as an apprentice, it took him 4 years to pay off his stolen car.
I gave the eulogy this week at my mates funeral. 850 people turned up to give their respect. To lose a car is so insignificant which is Johns correct point. Peter Harkin
Too bad if it was your only possession and you were sleeping in it, or more commonly for the working poor, they have on average according to a study in QLD a couple of years ago, $16 spare after bills from their wages, and no way to get to work, I’ve been absolutely devastated by vehicle theft.
When I lost everything in a fire, I became too poor to get welfare, if you think that sounds ridiculous, you can help me argue with the dole office, but I still get robbed in the middle of the night of things I can’t afford to lose, by people who most likely get the dole to help fund their drug habits. They used to hang horse thieves because a person’s life could depend on their transport.
Hope you’re insured!?
Well, captains (used to) go down with their ships……..
I’ve only just got rid of the Isuzu Bellett I bought 9 months old in 1967 and was still in good running condition, lots of memories – I donated it to an enthusiast who is restoring it.
I guess that is the differentiator. Would you feel any different Jon if you were not insured and now had to find $200k to get you back into a similar ride just because some crack head and his smelly friends had fifty minutes of fun before torching a masterpiece of German engineering? I know I would.
Is “the universe” just a concept, a philosophical position to take so as not to worry about stuff. Or is taken be a real thing. If it is a for real thing are we just going to praise it when things go right, just for us? If it has no real validity is it just puff, a bit of spritualistic whimsy about as useful as saying to a person in grief, “They’ve have gone to a better place.” Stuff that just comes out when we want to soothe.
When a hospital is bombed and babies die in pitiful pain, how is the universe working there? Does the universe have a brain, morals? What guides it, or, like I asked, is it just a shallow concept to serve a fleeting purpose?
I love the car and would be upset if someone stole it from me but I would be more worried that they could have hurt my dogs who were innocent by standers or that the theif breached my security. Having so much affords us the time to be philosophical when some one is in poverty it is not a consideration as their basic needs are not met. Its different for everybody.
I totally understand Jon, in fact scientist are discovering any given point in the universe (including us) is getting bigger and more complex. Our perception of the ‘material realm’ and relationships to are evolving. If you do believe that the same consciousness and energy that was at the start of the big bang is still here and will be through out eternity then ‘karma’ has a whole different meaning. I lost $400k, a 19yr old son and my Dad in separate situations but only couple of years apart. I can’t believe that I am so glad to go through the experience knowing that I cared, shared and loved despite the loss, rather than never experiencing this reality. In fact I decided I would do it all again because it is so worth it. I use to think that life is amazing, now I not sure…maybe we are very amazing at life. And it’s only the beginning. We ain’t seen nothin yet !! 🙂