Athens chose olives, and is still paying for it.
The story goes that ancient Athens had become such a fabulous city, that both Poseidon and his niece Athena vied to be its patron.
The competition was threatening to send the gods to war, but then Athena suggested they have a competition. Whoever would give the city the best gift would be the winner and the city would be dedicated to them.
Poseidon agreed. And so all of Athens gathered to receive their gifts. Poseidon went first. He raised up his trident and struck the ground at Erekhtheis, and a frothy spring gushed forth.
The people oohed and ahhed.
Athena on the other hand, knelt to the ground and planted a seed in the earth. From that seed grew a wonderful olive tree. The people ate of its fruits, cooked and lit lamps with its oils, and benefited from its many medicinal properties.
The people were torn. But then someone tasted the water from Poseidon’s spring, and it was salty – he was the God of the Sea after all.
And so it was unanimous. The olives were the best gift by far, and the city was named Athena.
Poseidon however was pissed. And so he took the Greek people to the court of disputed returns on Mt Olympus, where he precented them with an exorbitant bill for the spring he had built.
The Greek people were indignant. We didn’t ask for your stupid well anyway and it doesn’t even work. Why should we pay for it?
But then Poseidon presented a contract and work-order signed by one of Athens’s governors (who was notorious for taking kick-backs, and had since retired to a suspiciously opulent island villa).
The people of Athens could see the scam unfolding, and so they appealed to Zeus. Zeus looked to Poseidon for an explanation.
“It’s obvious what is happening here,” said Poseidon. “The Greek people are lazy. They’ve spent too long living the high-life, and now that it’s time to pay their debts, they cry like babies.”
“So what should they do?”
“They must pay their debts. Let them sell their assets if they have to. Let them sell their ports and their maritime fleets. Let them sell their beaches even.
… And look, I just happen to have some buyers lined up over here.”
“And how will they live if they sell everything that makes money?”
“If they reduce the size of the state – cut back on spending, reduce public sector wages, sell off assets – then they will become much more efficient. They will then grow their way out of their problems in their new, agile super-economy.”
“Has something like this ever been done before?”
“Dozens of times. In the South America Debt Crisis. In the Asian Financial Crisis….”
“And has it ever worked.”
“No. Not once. But it’s bound to work this time.”
Zeus knew the people of Athens were being screwed, but he had bigger problems at hand. Cities across the continent were wanting to leave the union. Separatist parties on the right and left were springing up like wild-flowers.
The debt might be unfair, but what happens if you just let cities walk away from their debts? German investment banks might have a difficult reporting season.
Athens had to be made an example of.
Zeus said, “I will lend Athens the money to cover her debts. But in return, she must sell her best assets at fire-sale prices, and she must raise taxes and cut spending and other things you would exactly recommend not doing in a crisis.”
The people of Athens were outraged. They took to the streets, but confusion quickly took the place of anger.
Who was to blame? The bankers? Probably. The elected officials who had sold them down the river? Definitely. Zeus and his austerity measures? They definitely didn’t seem to be helping.
And what was the solution? Asking politicians to fix the problem was like asking a toddler to clean up their own mess. (Just lots of tears and more mess).
And the Greek people had been a mercantile people for centuries. They knew the benefits of trade. They weren’t isolationist. They didn’t believe that cutting themselves off from the rest of the world was going to help matters, but they didn’t know what would either.
Despair and mistrust grew. The country became paralysed, while more and more of her assets were sold off to foreign interests.
Poseidon meanwhile picked about a bunch of stunning beaches at bargain-basement prices.
I forget the punchline to this story. Or maybe there isn’t one. Greek stories have a habit of being tragic.
I’d love to say that things have gotten better since the last time I was here. But they haven’t. Austerity measures are still in effect and still don’t seem to be helping (6 years down the track!)
No one knows who to blame. No one knows who to turn to for a solution. Despair is spreading from a despair for the current situation to a despair for humanity and civilisation itself.
And I don’t know if there are big-money conspiracies at play (though its certainly easy to see evidence for them if you’re looking.) But it was corruption that got Greece into this mess, so it doesn’t surprise anybody that the greatest fire-sale in history is also rife with corruption.
It’s just one loss after humiliating loss.
And seriously, beaches are being privatised. Can you believe it?
I’m not going to pretend to have the answers. I don’t even think I can finger the problem.
But if this is what globalisation looks like, it’s no wonder the whole project is coming off the rails.
Should the people of Athens gone with the salty spring?
Jack says
It’s all GREEK to me?
I’ve always wanted to say that
ron says
good one jonno. maybe we have gone to far with our ‘civil..isation. too much this and too much that. lots of info. and the result(not bloody outcome) is global corruption and ignorance. i rest my case. my pen has run out of vitriolic ink..i apparently drowned my pen in it last letters. cheers, ron
ron says
oh yes the salty spring..yes it may have come in handy if they had other things as well..but they chose the well worn track of free this and that..with not much work. not dissimilar to worldly ways now. strange how people never change..just the scenery. cheers again
Simon says
This is a true story about Australia.
Tom says
Greece needs Donald – to make Greece GREAT again.
Or a Grexit!
Ari says
A Greek tragedy.
The cradle of democracy falling down on its own creation?
Paul Miles says
A nicely crafted morality tale mixing Greek mythology and the (lack of) effectiveness of modern day neoliberal economic thought (or the lack of any real thought in that). Remember the good ol’ days when it was the Commos who were blinded by ideology?
One of your best ever, Jon.
Hugh says
On the wider European scene, it is just not economically workable to have a nation like Greece linked to another like Germany under the Euro. You cannot compare grapes with olives. Also the original idea of a common market might have worked, but for example having a common currency ends up with farmers in more expensive countries having to dump their produce.
Jack says
What a giggle, if it wasn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy that’ll be apparent in many parts of Europe and the greater part of our world’s economies.
Go the gold standard and the rush of Cryptocurrencies on the horizon.
Ben Hurn says
It’s sad because the USA has twice the debt per person than Greece ($80k vs $48k). Australia has $17k debt per person. It’s different vs GDP, but scary either way.
Lana says
Nice story. I think Athens chose well to chose olives instead of salty spring. Note the fact that from the very start “competition was threatening to send the gods to war” (“but Athena suggested they have a competition” and “whoever would give the city the best gift would be the winner and the city would be dedicated to them”. But many years later look what’s happened. What is the leson? I think it’s about values. When you have greatness (like Athens had at the time) you need solid values to uphold the greatness because as soon as your greatness becomes apparent to others they will either want a part of it or to destroy it (tall poppy syndrome). The good values exclude corruption, of course, so if that was erradicated timely that surely would have been helpful. Perhaps then the one true God would have been more inclined to help find a solution to preserve the greateness.
Luke says
It’s pretty simple,
Greece can’t devalue its currency (the drachma) , previously this would have attracted tourists for a cheaper holiday.
Greece would have gained other currencies to import goods
It can’t because it is stuck in the euro
Very simple
Luke says
The salty spring is the euro