How to avoid bad decisions when your regulators are down.
I haven’t been getting as much sleep as I might like lately. Long story. Won’t go into it.
Anyway, I always find it kind of funny the effect sleeplessness has on the body.
I remember watching one of those science shows years back. They got the presenter guy to do a bunch of tasks on a normal nights sleep, and then go a couple of nights with out sleep and do those tasks again.
As you can imagine, he was pretty useless the second time round. But the funniest thing was they sent him into an SAS simulator, where he had to walk through a warehouse filled with smoke and flashing lights with a paint gun, shooting the cardboard cut-outs of bad guys and leaving the innocents alone. You know the drill.
Anyway, he did a passable job on the first blush. But after a few days without sleep, he was a terror. Like literally. He just propped himself up into some wide-legged Rambo stance, and opened up on everything – little girls, dogs, walls, everything.
Bam bam bam!
It was hilarious. I think he even said, “F@ck this show,” at some point.
A few nights without sleep and we very quickly lose our ability to regulate our behaviour.
When I hear people fretting about US government torture tactics – waterboarding and all that, it kind of sounds like the intelligence guys are just bored (or maybe mean).
Like, is there anyone who can function with out sleep? Surely the most effective information extraction technique is to just wake somebody up whenever they try to go to sleep, over and over.
(I think they actually did this at Guantanamo Bay… with Britney Spears!)
Unless you’re some sort of yoga meditation guru, I don’t think anyone could hold out through that kind of business. I wouldn’t last more than a day.
Without sleep, we lose our ability to regulate our emotions. And because we’re physically tired as well, the emotions that are being generated in our body aren’t the nice ones – they’re irritation, anger, helplessness etc.
And they get to be in full control.
When I’m tired I know I need to watch this, and give my emotional regulators a bit of extra support. I find myself doing that by trying to give myself a bit of distance. Trying to see myself as a step removed from my reality.
This is a number (more numb) space to exist in, and I don’t like to stay there for long, but at least when I’m there I know I’m not getting buffeted about by my emotions. I’m not reacting to my emotions.
Successful adult life is achieved through choosing how we express our emotions.
With our regulators down through lack of sleep, we lose our ability to choose. We think we’re choosing but we’re not. We’re reactive.
I think these ‘regulators’ are really interesting. And I think they’re a bit of a blind spot in how we think about optimising ourselves for success.
We tend to think about it a bit like body building. We need to build up our courage muscle, our discipline muscle, our drive muscle etc.
We need to build up the things that make us do things.
But we also need to build up the things that stop us from doing things.
Take alcohol. Why is alcohol fun? For a lot of people I think the answer is because alcohol shuts down our inhibitions. With that function of our mind effectively poisoned to the point of disfunction, we find ourselves uninhibited. And suddenly we’re free – free to dance on the tables, sing Cold Chisel covers, tell your friends how much you love them…
“Nah, seriously. Listen…”
In the context of a party, shedding inhibitions is a fantastic thing.
However, inhibitions are also useful. They’re the things that normally stop us urinating on post-boxes, or telling the boss what you really think, or spanking your co-worker on the arse.
You need that.
Self-discipline is another self-regulator. Why do they have sweets at the cash-register at the super-market?
Because they know that by the time you’ve done all your shopping you’re facing discipline fatigue. You’ve had to make a 100 healthy choices. You’ve said no to a thousand sugary temptations.
Finally, right at the end, they present you with the option for just one, relatively small little treat. Your ability to regulate your decisions is worn out. Exhausted. You can no longer silence the voice that says, ‘I deserve it.’
Anyway, this is what I’m thinking about today. My regulators define my maturity. They guide me from unrefined boy to functional man.
But that regulation takes energy. And when I’m tired (or drunk) I know that my regulators are weakened. I become more reactive. I’m more at the whim of my emotions.
This is a risky state. I’m liable to do something I’ll regret – or at least something that isn’t in line with my higher purpose.
When I recognise that I’m in regulator fatigue, I need to slow down and double-check my instincts – make sure I’m actually making good decisions.
This is an important discipline for success.
Or maybe it’s not. Who cares?
F@ck this show.
How do you manage regulator fatigue?
Roger says
Thanks Jon. That gave me a good chuckle. it also reconfirmed why I do not “Do” Facebook. I enjoy a glass or two of wine on a nightly basis and on the occasions that two becomes more than two I become very loquacious. This is fine when everything is verbal but once it has hit the internet there is no taking it back. I do think that sleep deprivation is a serious issue and would cost the western economies huge sums of money annually through lost production and accident costs. My son and I work in the same office and as the father of two young girls he regularly suffers from sleep deprivation ( as all we parents have ) It is very obvious when he arrives at the office if he has had one of “those ” nights. His temperament and decision making process are certainly impaired.
ron goddard says
hi jonno,
a good scientific analysis. i read somewhere recently that we humans need, on average because no two people are the same in their wants and needs etc. etc. etc., eight hours a day to clear our minds of all the stuff that we collect during our awaked hours. my sleeping time is around 7-8 hours uninterrupted even though i have the weight of the world’s problems in my head when i ‘go to bed’.
just a passing thought, i read also this morning about gibralter. it has the best regulated economy in the world. why? it is a tax haven. 100s(1000s?) of companies bank there. the tax laws for the 33,000 locals are wonderful. 10% on corporate earnings and next to bugger all on personal earnings, the biggie, no debt!!!! i wonder if they sleep ok? you betcha!! maybe our ‘popularity goons’ : politicians in all parts of oz can be made to go to gibralter to see how it works. but maybe we are too far gone down the track of capitalism. shame really. the rest of the known world has us by the balls and we cannot move without great pain.(financial). so how many oz s sleep well? i think that to go into ones self; see yourself as you really are would be a great start. a sort of introspection. analyse the deficiencies and pluses. hard? yes. cheers, ron
Maureen Wise says
Thanks Jon for that timely piece. The perfect post for me at the moment after just having a ‘moment of unresourcefulness’ due to lack of sleep…..had a dose of the sooky la las due to too much outgo and not enough income and cursing this dream, this business, this vision that keeps me from going out and ‘getting a real job’. Good to know I am not alone in my sleep deprived state. Think you have just helped me justify having a nanna nap so I can clear my head and come back in a more resourceful state.
Tom says
Very apt Maureen!!! It is very difficult to keep a level head and civility with loved ones, when tired. Failures many more times than is comfortable to remember!!! Curse those inappropriate, thoughtless comments after a harrowing day following a short night’s sleep. Sorry Darlings!
Siesta, at any time of day, is one of the welcome benefits of retirement, along with passive income. It makes one wish one had known about Internet Marketing, back in the busy days, when the availability of folding stuff was critical – when we had nano naps, rather than these lovely Nanna naps.
George Serghis says
Hey Jon
I had to comment on this, fatigue kicks in about early to mid afternoons, that’s why our mates on the Greek islands have their afternoon siesta about 3 to 6, then they can party till early ours and still go work the next day because sleep time is not far away, we all know that its a great life style
Krista Mercer says
Love it first time I actually read the email now I am going for broke on no b.s.Friday
Jan says
Yes Jon – we need to respect the wisdom of getting the required sleep to make better decisions for ourselves. I think the real question to ask: “What thought lead you to having a lack of sleep”? Get aware of those thoughts that want to distract you eg too much booze, partying, watching late night horror movies. Those thoughts will then reek havoc on you the next day and build energy….yes you guessed it – revel in bad decisions, guilt, regret. Sleep tight! Jan
Alison says
John spare a thought for our young public hospital doctors, inexperienced and crazy tired and hungry, trying to make serious observations and decisions or cut and suture straight.
The haemorrhage of public money into well fed and slept hospital administration increases year on year while patients wait and wait in corridors for emotionally “F@ck this show” exhausted primary caregivers.
We all go there – private high end 24 h emergency is a rare bird.