My feeling is that we get to write our own story. So what story are you writing right now?
A few years ago I was driving with my wife. We’d been staying with some friends at their weekender in the country, and were making our way home. We were about 2 hours into a 4 hour drive (unusual for me, that’s far too long in the car) and it was pretty late. There was no one else on the road.
Anyway, the highway ends up winding into a small town. My wife and I were yabbering away, and I wasn’t paying close attention to my speed. I’d instinctively dropped down to about 70kph, but we were in a 60 zone.
*FLASH*
Speeding Camera. Scared the poop out of me. Almost ran off the road.
I looked at my speed. Yep, I was speeding. Bugger. They got me.
My wife starts to tell me off. “Shouldn’t be so careless… always drive too fast… did you really need 650 horse-power… was nothing wrong with the old Toyota…”
That’s ok. It’s just what happens when my wife gets startled or nervous. Best relationship advice my father ever gave me: “Don’t take personal attacks personally.”
I was peaking out as well. That old feeling of being busted. Like that time I was caught by Mr Baker carving “colourful language” into one of the school benches. A sharp mixture of guilt and fear.
But then I took stock of the situation. Nothing I could do now. What’s done is done. Just keep on driving. So on we went.
My wife started to mull over the ramifications. “There’ll be a fine to pay. You’ll lose points. Could lose your license. How many points is a speeding fine these days? You don’t have that many left… Not since your high-school reunion… Depends on how fast you were going, doesn’t it… Were you more than 10k over?”
I started to join her in those thoughts, but then I pulled myself up. I’m not sure exactly why. It’s like I didn’t like the ‘taste’ of those thoughts.
For one, I couldn’t see any point. What’s done is done. I’ll find out how many points I’ve lost when the fine comes in the mail. And there wasn’t anything to prepare. It wasn’t time to get on the phone to the lawyer just yet. And worst case scenario is that I lose a bit of cash and have to catch a tram to work for a while.
Whatever happens, I’m sure I’ll deal with it. And there’ll be lots of time to deal with it after the universe reveals its hand.
So for one, it was just a waste of mental energy. Unless I’m going to translate some of that thought into action, I’m just spinning my wheels. For the moment, there’s nothing to do but wait.
Secondly, I didn’t like the ‘flavour’ of those thoughts. It was a mixture of fear and guilt and dread for bad things to come. I don’t need that in my life. I don’t need that in my head.
So for those two reasons, I decided not to give it any energy. “We’ll deal with it when it comes,” I said. “Besides, we might be right.”
“What do you mean, ‘we might be right’? You saw the flash.”
“Yeah, but stranger things have happened. We’ll see what happens, but I think we might be right.”
And then I stopped and held a mental picture of things just working out. I remembered that my life is full of pleasant surprises, and I felt the feeling of being pleasantly surprised that everything had just worked out, leaving me with nothing but a tall-tale for a blog.
So what happened?
A little while later I get a letter. Turns out that particular speed camera had been recently decommissioned, but was running in ‘warning’ mode. There was no fine, no loss of points. Just a warning to “be more careful in the future.”
I was pleasantly surprised.
I’m remembering this story because I lost my wallet this week. As soon as I realised I’d lost it, I didn’t go into panic mode… I just kept telling myself it’ll show up somewhere. But I did start thinking, “Damn. What an inconvenience. I’ll have to cancel my credit cards. Then I’ll have to get a new license? What other cards did I have? I’ll have to print that family pic up again.”
But then I pulled myself up. I didn’t know that it was gone yet. There’s a few scenarios available to me where I just get my wallet back, no worries.
So I saw that scenario playing out in my head. I get my wallet back with everything in it. I am pleasantly surprised.
Long story short, the next day I ring around some likely places. Turns out someone had handed it in to the local café. Nothing missing.
I was pleasantly surprised. I took out a fifty and dropped it in the tips jar.
I don’t know exactly how this works, but this kind of stuff happens to me a bit. My wife reckons I’ve got angels on my shoulder. Personally, I don’t think it’s that spiritual. It’s just an attitude I have towards things.
I tell you where this also works out really well… and you can test it yourself to see whether you are in tune… Finding car spots. I’ve got this attitude that I can find a car spot pretty much outside of the front of any place that I’m going to.
Doesn’t happen 100% of the time. But you’ll be surprised how often it does. It’s more than just positive thinking. The trick to it is not only accepting that this is the way it is, but when you get it (or you get what you want), you have to be grateful as well. That’d the trick to all this.
Once I’ve defused the scenario in my head by reminding myself that whatever happens I’ll just deal with it, I switch out the feeling of worry, with a feeling of being pleasantly surprised at some point in the future.
And I am pleasantly surprised at how often I find myself pleasantly surprised…
Remember, when it happens, show gratitude or else it’s unlikely to happen again.
It’s a good psychic practice anyways. Fretting about the future is a waste of time (though there’s a distinction here between fretting and genuine preparation and planning.)
But I do think the world genuinely responds to the things you put out there. Specifically, to the thoughts and feelings that you carry. How else do you think we create our reality? By accident? I don’t think so. This shit works.
And if that’s true, then we need to be very careful about the thoughts and feelings we’re allocating precious floor space to.
Less fear, more eager anticipation of the pleasant surprises to come.
Worth doing anyway, right?
I don’t like the alternative.
This sort of stuff ever happen to you? Tell me a story.
Helen says
Thanks Jon. The world would be a much better place if everybody abided by this philosophy!
brett duck says
I understand what you are getting at . Don’t waste brain power thinking about what might happen but I still had to pay an unfair speeding fine going down hill and only 2 km over the speed camera tolerance level , I did not even know I was photographed till I got a letter. I even asked for a warning to be issued as it was the only offense in over ten years but no mercy was shown to me, so I won’t waste my time in helping the police by dobbing in a driver in front of me that may be swerving all over the road who may be alcohol or drug affected .
Andrew says
Unfortunately Brett, that bloke in front of you IS the one you should dob in… You wouldn’t necessarily be helping the police but you could be helping someone else to not be injured or worse by the idiot’s driving… but I get your point…
brett duck says
my brother in law said this too
but I did experience four traffic hassling incidents with police in 3 months . One where they hid and then came up behind me in the night with their lights flashing when the real culprit was ahead of me due to his excessive speed he had over taken me at 110 km/hr like I was standing still. Eventually the police figured it out and went after him after I ignored them and they figured out my speed was at the speed limit. The real culprit pulled over immediately .
Alex says
Thanks Jon, this article has great timing for me. In addition, I also recall being surprised I was able to find good parking spots right where I had to go during late night shopping last night.
ron goddard says
dear jon, yes indeed. everything you say is true. it comes under the heading of universal consciousness. whatever you put out comes back to you. many times i have driven around parking lots (not for long and jagged a space). maybe the day will come when we won’t have to worry about it..driverless electric cars etc. no speed cops, no accidents. many years ago i was driving back home from somewhere, heading north, and i pulled up in the left hand lane behind a car, stopped at the red lights. the cross road was a very busy road..leach highway (east/west). i don’t know why to this day i went into the left hand lane..because when i got through the lights i was going to turn right into what is now bunnings. the lights went green and the car in front took off..but stopped suddenly. why? a huge truck crashed the red light and went through at a good speed, crashing into multiple cars on the other side (coming the other way, heading south) hmm i thought if i had been in that right hand lane i might have been not here any more. cheers, ron
brett duck says
I got taught by my driving instructor that if a car in front of me stops of me at a green light there may be a good reason for it that I might not have seen or heard. This happened to me and I stopped while a driver behind over took us to nearly collide with an ambulance going through on the red with its lights and sirens on. Another time the cars in the two left lanes did not move off at the green light and as I was taught if they don’t move they have seen something I have not. This being the truck going through on a red light that I could not see in my line of sight from my position . I think this saved my life at the time . Yet another at a round about I got taught if I have right of way that sometimes not to take my right. A truck decided not to give way to me at a roundabout . This saved my whole families lives as I stopped in the round about.
Terry Loftus says
Reminds me of a seminar I attended some years back. The presenter (from Sydney) told the story of how he often used to give a lift to work to a friend who worked close by….The presenter was an Optimist where the friend was a bit of a pessimist. Needless to say their was a “mental battle” going on when looking for a car-park near the office and the optimist came out on top on most days……..
johnny says
i startd sayn this to my wife 2-3 yrs ago n that everytime we go to the mall i always tell that im her good luck charm when it comes to finding a good car park and i guarantee her n under 2mins we will find the best carpark, im purposfully very cocky n how i say it too and i cnt explain it but somebody is always just pullin out infront of us when we gt there, its the law of attratction
brett duck says
Have not had this positive thinking work for tattslotto yet
Dan says
100% agree with the attitude, 100% disagree with the new age idea that it happens more often because you think it. The quality of one’s life being better in this regard is caused by your own improved mental state, the better decisions you make in this improved mental state, and thirdly, the better way you are treated by others due to your uplifting attitude. It also means you are more likely to notice the good things that happen to you because you are looking for them so it will seem that they happen more frequently (like seeing how many cars there are of a particular model after you’ve gone and bought one) and this is a good thing too :). In any case, always good to have the reminder to live life looking up rather than down. Thanks Jon.
Kathy says
Just be grateful for every day you wake up on the right side of the ground. All good things that happens after that is a bonus.
Ameet Bhat says
This is the “Law of attraction” 🙂 .
Good on you Jon for sharing 🙂
Steve Christo says
Apparently in the world of ‘manifesting’ there is so much that can be brought to mind and then brought to reality … I’ve been working on my ability to find parking spots (and getting quite good at it too I might humbly add)… after being ridiculed by members of my own family …. I’m a work in progress Jon and developing my powers but didn’t know there were so many people out there thinking and manifesting the same positive stuff…. Love your community and your Friday thoughts. Best regards to all.
Simon says
‘A weird defense against speeding fines’ dif between click bait, (which all headlines optimise for) and ‘content’ is whether the reader feels they got paid, for their time and effort, ,
While this post doesn’t lose points for marketing snake oil, it’s a bit of a fail as educational material,
Comparable to ‘where’s that scratchy you owed me from our bet?’ ‘I bought it, I scratched it, and you lost’
Rick Eason says
Hi Jon, “the universe” is too impersonal. Information science now allows the valid SCIENTIFIC inference that the universe was designed. So the question is by what or by whom? The existence of personality and relationship demonstrate that it was designed by a personality who enjoys relationship. That is exactly what Jesus reveals – a “Father” who is totally good and has an unwavering kind intention toward us. So next time, instead of expressing gratefulness to an impersonal “universe”, express it to the God and Father who loves us with a passion demonstrated by His Son Jesus.
Incidentally, you are operating what Jim Collins calls the “Stockdale paradox”. i.e. face the brutal facts, while maintaining unwavering faith in the goodness of God.