No B.S Friday: I don’t need you to help me feel like shit.
“Don’t get a big head, Giaan.”
That was one of my mates. Probably one of my closest mates actually.
And he was doing me a favour. Through a careful and through examination of the facts and my behaviour, he had concluded that my opinion of myself was becoming a little too elevated.
And because he cared for me so deeply, he felt he needed to do something about it. He felt he needed to save me from the myriad dangers that follow from having ‘a big head’.
Dangers like… um… well.. you know. Being a dickhead.
And to save me from that fate, he evaluated the strategies available to him, and decided the best way to save me from my inflated ego was to try and pop my balloon.
Where there was once a narrative of high-self esteem, now let there be a demeaning put-down. Something about not being able to run fast on my “runty little dachshund legs.”
What a guy. I felt so cared for in that moment.
And where I was dangerously lifted up in thoughts of self-worth, I was now safely brought back into warm embrace of hating myself again.
So grateful.
Now, I know this conversation is being repeated around the country right now. On any given day there will be people making sure that their loved ones don’t ‘get a big head’.
And then wondering why their loved ones aren’t more grateful.
I think this is actually a uniquely Australian form of mass delusion. Not every nation celebrates their tall-poppies the way the American’s do. But I think we are maybe alone in how viciously we police the size of people’s heads.
And it really doesn’t make all that much sense when you slow it down and look at it.
I mean, what’s the danger we’re trying to save people from. Anything other than a bit of embarrassment?
Ask Donald Trump or anyone else… being a dickhead doesn’t close as many doors for you as most of us think. You can still quite possibly find yourself the leader of the free world.
So what are you saving me from, exactly?
And even if we did want to save people from loving on themselves too much, is an insult really the best way to do that?
“Having your feet on the ground” isn’t a metric you’re trying to hit on average. It’s a binary, yes or no. If someone is feeling good about themselves, making them feel shit doesn’t ‘balance it out’ somehow.
You’re just making someone feel shit.
But we live in a culture where ‘popping someone’s balloon’ is seen as a legitimate act of service…
… rather than the cold and selfish act of violence that it actually is.
It’s madness. The sooner we wake up from this delusion the better.
Be remembered as a person who lifted people up.
Not as someone who brought people down.
No one is going to thank you for that.
JG.