What if I told you there was a global conspiracy to encourage you to wallow in self-pity, and keep on hanging out for a hero. What would you do about it?
Sometimes I like to think about conspiracy theories.
Not that I believe that there are aliens hiding behind the moon or George Bush is a reptile or anything like that. It’s just interesting to see what the world looks like when you take one aspect and change it around. It helps me get a fresh perspective.
For example, one conspiracy theory goes that the media are controlled by an evil Illuminati, who are hell-bent on keeping you ignorant and compliant.
I don’t really believe this. I think the truth is much closer to Ron Burgandy’s epiphany in Anchorman-2: “Why can’t we give people the news they want, rather than the news they need?”
Newspapers and TV are just happy to sell us the blindfolds we ask for.
BUT – I do find it a useful idea to keep in the back of mind when I’m reading the papers – what gumpf are these evil bastards trying to sell me?
So here’s a little conspiracy for you to try on for size: The agents of evil in the world are trying to indoctrinate you into a cult of self-pity.
Hey?
Let me flesh it out.
First up the world gives you endless examples of role-models indulging in righteous self-pity.
The classic archetype is Cinderella. Stuck in a crappy situation with her step-mother and step sisters, she just keeps her head down and tries to be a good girl. Finally, her righteousness is rewarded by a giant fairy, and then a prince comes and saves her once and for all.
Pathetic.
The only qualities Cinderella exhibits in the whole story are humility and piety (wonderful qualities), but where’s the empowerment, the drive and determination, the stick-to-it-iveness?
The moral here is that if you’re beautiful (defined in the story as humble and good), then one day the world will come and save you. If you’re in a crappy situation, just keep your head down and suck it up. Don’t try and fix it. Just wait and your time will come.
You can see why the evil empire wants you to believe that, right?
Exhibit B is the way we retell history is through the lenses of individuals – greater leaders, generals, heroes, beautiful queens – and a focus on pivotal points in history.
We like to think that history twists and turns based on the decisions key individuals make at critical moments.
Like Star Wars.
We focus on the battle between Luke and his father, and a generation of resistance from the Rebels is totally overlooked. But without all that plotting and scheming and a thousand extras going up in digitised fireballs, Luke’s pivotal moments would never have been possible. History is actually like this.
But let me ask you this: what’s a more useful quality in life? To make grand heroic gestures at obvious moments, or to slog it out through all the challenges life presents you with, year after year?
Exhibit C, my final exhibit your honour, are the socially sanctioned feelings we have about ourselves.
For example, if you like who you are, it means you’re up yourself. You’ve vain and you’ve got tickets on yourself.
Of course that doesn’t mean it’s ok to be ugly. Oh no! Big judgements for that. You’ve got to be beautiful. You’re just not allowed to look like you’ve spent a lot of time making yourself look beautiful.
And so we spend hundreds of dollars on ‘natural look’ make-up, and hair products that give you that ‘just-out-of-bed’ look.
And take this statement: “Gary loves himself.”
Why do we automatically assume I’m pointing out some kind of flaw in Gary? That if Gary loves himself, he must also be guilty of vanity – thinking that he’s better than others.
They’re not the same thing.
Maybe Gary loves himself and loves everybody else too. Maybe Gary loves himself because he’s actually a pretty awesome bloke, and he works hard at providing for his family, helping out the less-fortunate, and volunteering at the footy club. He’s proud of the contribution he makes to the lives of everyone around him.
Why does loving yourself in this way still feel alien to us? And why do we have no social reference point for understanding and celebrating the love Gary has for himself?
See? It’s a conspiracy.
But self-pity on the other hand, that’s another story. If you want indulge in feeling sorry for yourself – about your bad back, your shitty neighbours, the career that never took off, society has nothing but affirmation for you.
Sometimes, self-pity is the only nurturing feeling we allow ourselves.
And we do need to make space for grief and sorrow in our life, but if self-pity is not tempered with a sense of empowerment and determination, it leaves us as useless agents in our own lives – eternal Cinderellas, waiting for our knight in shining armour to come and save us from the big bad wolf.
Ewoks waiting for a Skywalker.
And if self-pity becomes a habit, we become stuck. We can get addicted to patting the back of our own inner child at the expense of actually doing the work and taking charge of our own situation.
And that’s exactly how Dr Evil and the Illuminati want you to be – depressed, demotivated and wallowing in self-pity. You’ll make a fine cog in the machine that way.
Ok, I don’t think there’s actually a coordinated conspiracy here, but what if there was?
What would you do about it?
Well you’d be on your guard against self-pity. And you’d be making sure you developed habits and practices that kept you motivated, empowered and disciplined. You’d treat every set-back as a learning opportunity, and another chance to get up on that horse.
Just like ALL the successful people I know.
And Dr Evil shakes his fist.
Jaymelee White says
Juat what I needed to read. Thank you 😉
mylesyatesylesMyles says
When I read these it seems that someone is in my mind and I definitely have Dr Evil and Illuminati on each shoulder. I really enjoy reading N.B Fridays thank Myles
Erdosh says
Thank you for this interesting article.
Please open your eyes and minds…
Count how many mobile phone towers in Ivanhoe where you are… Also check the insidious technology behind it. Also check why you have fluoride in your water, smart meters at our homes. Check technologies mobile phone technology and digital TVs. We are all mind controlled and yet we are not even are of it.
Check out the vatican’s role in the creation and sustaining the self-pity in humanity…
For your and your family’s benefit please read for example David Icke’s books and watch his youtubes with an open mind…
Remember perspective creates perception.
Have a pleasant weekend!
Helena Smirnis says
l totally agree with you Erdosh. Nice to see you are onto all this, as my kids and family call me a Electromagnetic Phobic, and l tell them that time will reveal all.
Erdosh says
Helena,
I am thankful and grateful to you and believe me you are CORRECT. If you are interested please check the followings:
– Barrie Trower – Excellent scientist on electromagnetic radiation and its harmful effect, Please check his youtubes and articles
– Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars (It is a must read by everyone!, dark cabal’s manual pdf is available on the web or at
http://www.stoptheCrime.net Deborah Tavares
I used to be a scientist in my previous life.
Thank you.
Dian says
Not so weird at all.. Truth is often stranger than fiction!
Mauritius says
So true.
Rod Williams says
Got me thinking now Giaan
Tom says
More wonderful stuff Jon,
The various media give us what we deserve. Unless we DEMAND better standards of reporting, they will be quite justified in coasting along in their lazy, sensationalist mediocrity, churning out more & more BS – even on “No BS Fridays”!!!
Mostly, we meekly accept being factory fodder, mushrooms kept in the dark and fed on BS, cogs in the wheel of Big Business – until Jon’s blogs wake us up and get us to recognise some horrible realities!!!
Unless we stand up and celebrate being genuine, self-loving tall poppies, we shall continue to be mowed down to fit in at the lowest common denominator, indistinguishable from the rest.
Even without any SPECIAL features, each of us is a unique individual, capable of improving ourselves and our circumstances; and while not being recognised by historians, leaving our little patch of the world in a better state than we found it.
Just refuse to accept mediocrity. Strive to be the BEST self possible!!!
ron says
i don’t know about this john..i have been wallowing in self pity all of my life,,
now, after 3 marriages, 6 children, 6 grandchildren and almost bankrupted in the eighties and suffering a heart attack 3 years ago and now fit as a mallee trout after my triple bypass….i find time to reflect on things..maybe life has passed me by.. . maybe i am wrong..but i don’t need pots and pots of money to be happy..
i was a very high achiever last time i checked ..i don’t own a house i own my car(mercedes)..no debts..my debit cards are never overdrawn..and i can buy anything i want. ..but geez i wish i was more hairy..really i do! i think that everybody likes to be like somebody else…i’m going for my 42km walk..see ya!
Mother duck. says
I r
Mother duck. says
I realised while reading this that people around me don’t like that I’m strong and I speak out.
And that if someone says “no” or “not now” or “wait” I say hang on there is another way. The road is blocked but I’ll take the alternate route.
But in saying that. I only get down when I refuse to speak out, and When I hold my opinions. (Which I will do if it is harming someone else)
While writing this I feel like I’m a child having a tantrum and that is not acceptable and that is exactly what I was taught.
Don’t rock the boat.
Smile and nod
Go with the flow
I’m hearing my children say: “oh mum”
When I ask their father to pick up after himself for the 30th year running. Why should I do it.?!?!?
Thankyou for posting. It makes me know who I am. And that’s ok.
Brett Smith says
So bloody thankful that you see the same thing I’ve been screaming about for twenty bloody years….brilliance as always!! & definitely no bs in that analogy
Katarina V. (@Katarina130689) says
Great article. I stumbled on it while looking for various , no BS, ideas on how to change myself, since what I already do is not working, but working against me. It’s exactly as you said. Once I started looking at myself as a “special little snowflake”, I “forgot” what I should actually do. Even tho I’m not watching TV, my mind has been already altered by various stuff online.
I use to be different, more stubborn,more persistent,more hard working, more focused, yet I let media affect me through years. I’ve become Cinderella pretty much. I really want to return to my normal self, because soon, I’ll have to look for job, get a place to live,etc. and I can’t let the bad side of society and environment crush me and use me.
Also, i could add that in environment full of Cinderellas ,one has to be careful not to start imitating them,or thinking their advice is good advice. Once you are Cinderella,and decide to be incapable of doing things by yourself, you look for excuses to justify your paralysis and lack of activeness.It’s as if whole “scheme” is not just external, but continues on the inside.
I’m really grateful for your article.Thank you for sharing common sense with this Cinderella. 🙂