I have no opinion about what happened in Orlando. I chose to have no opinion.
Another shooting. Another senseless tragedy that just makes me roll my eyes, and say come on Team Human. Get your sh!t together. It’s kind of embarrassing.
The Orlando mass shooting is the worst single-handed shooting in history. And it lands in an usual place where it seems to touch everyone, while being kind of unclear what it is actually about. Is it organised terror, or is it a lone nut-job. Does it point to the need for more gun control, or less? Is it homophobia, or religious hate?
It seems it depends on what barrow your pushing. And in that way it was unique – it ha something for everybody. It gave every op-ed writer in the country, no matter where they sat, the confirmation they were looking for that they were actually right all along.
It was all kind of exhausting.
As someone regularly writes op-eds, I know the value of opinions.
It’s not much.
Opinions are easy. They’re cheap. Everyone’s got one.
For me to dip into my head and throw some ideas at a laptop is easy. It’s not real work. There’s a bit of labour involved in shaping the ideas into coherent narratives. But sometimes I’m just rehashing conversations I had with my wife over breakfast.
But I know what I know. And to sprout off about what I know is easy. It’s fun even. I mean, I do genuinely hope people find it interesting and get some value out of it, but I don’t pretend that my opinions are the same thing as knowledge or wisdom.
They’re just a perspective. And I’ve got some big ideas, but I don’t pretend to have answers. I’m just a confused monkey like everyone else.
But there is a wisdom and a knowledge that is valuable and real. And it’s not opinion, but empathy.
Empathy is the wisdom that comes from sharing someone’s felt experience. From seeing the world through their eyes.
And empathy isn’t easy. It asks you to step out of your own bubble of self-interest, and to experience what other people are feeling.
It asks you to let go of the structures of understanding you’ve built to make your way in the world, and to see the world through someone else’s eyes. To walk a mental mile in their shoes.
And in doing that, it asks you to step out of the boxes of identity that divide us up, and into that space where race, religion and political views don’t matter, and the things we have in common are more powerful than our differences.
Empathy brings us back into our shared humanity. And in that sense, empathy is the mother of peace.
But what’s holding us back? What’s stopping us from living out this vision of people all sitting around together, offering each other sweetened spiced tea and back rubs?
Fear.
Our identities – our sense of who we are – are a tool we use to navigate a complex world. We see ourselves as such and such a person, with these views and these tribal affiliations.
These things aren’t easy to let go of. When we drop them, we become lost in the world again. The moral rules of thumb that come from our tribal affiliations don’t guide us anymore. When we come up against an issue, we can’t fall back on our prejudices. We’ve got to start over fresh.
In that sense, it’s scary, and most people will cling to the stories they’ve always told about themselves – the identities they’ve spent a lifetime creating. And with that they’re locked out of empathising with “others”.
(And since this is a wealth blog, can I also say that this is one of the best reasons for sorting yourself out financially. When you feel more secure in the world, you’re more able let go of your paradigms of understanding and become lost in the world again. When you feel more secure, you can be more empathetic. You can become a more powerful force for peace.)
Anyway, long story short, empathy is hard. It requires you to come back to the clean-slate of a shared-humanity, and to do that, you’ve got to get past fear.
But empathy, unlike opinion, is deeply valuable. Empathy is real knowledge and it opens the door to peace and gentle back rubs.
And so today, I’ve got no opinions. Rather, I’m going to let myself feel into empathy.
And so I empathise with victims of violence the world over. The challenges of lack were all sorted out last century and there’s no reason anyone should suffer any more (if there ever was one). Can everyone please just get with the program?
Everyone who’s still connected to their humanity finds this endless theatre of senseless suffering exhausting.
And I emphasise with the Queer community. It must be harrowing to know that you can be attacked just for who you are. And at a time when it feels like the last structures of prejudice are finally being dismantled, this attack must be dis-spiriting.
I also empathise with Muslims who are endeavouring to show that Islam has a place in peaceful and egalitarian societies. One nutter with no deep connection to the essence of the Muslim faith has done a lot of damage to that cause.
(That said, so did the Pakistani Council of Islamic Ideology, which this week proposed a bill that “a husband should be allowed to lightly beat his wife if she defies his commands and refuses to dress up as per his desires; turns down demand of intercourse without any religious excuse or does not take bath after intercourse or menstrual periods.” Seriously guys, give it up.)
At the end of the day, I’m going to come back to empathy. I’m going to resist the temptation to fortify the boxes of division that pit my “us” against their “them.” I’m not going to give in to fear.
Rather, I’m going to remember that we’re all confused monkeys doing the best we can. We all hurt. We all feel loss. We all love.
So no opinions from me today. I’m joining with those feeling the weight of the world. It feels like all I can really offer.
Anyone need a back rub?
Glenn Jackson says
Religion is based on power bases, greed & money. People in powerful positions use relgion to better their own causes. It is used to have a controlling process over their followers. An individual needs to step outside the religious paradigm & make decisions based on their own moral compass & consciousness. The majority of people around the world know what is right & wrong. The greatest equaliser in all of this is human relationships. If this individual had looked at his victims as being someones daughter, son, mother, father, etc & put himself in the same position of losing someone very close to him in such a devestating way (emphasised) then maybe he may have been swayed to act differently. Instead religion brain washed him into thinking he acted appropriately to its cause.
Dan says
No. ‘Human interaction’ involves power games (amongst other things) which is often driven by greed (of which money is an enabler). Taking up religion does not make a person any less human, and religious folk are equally as likely to make wrong/bad decisions as non-religious folk. However, religious folk do get a line in the sand as to what is moral and what is not. And whilst some (you can argue many, but the line is still there) cross that line, and that line may be grey with fuzzy edges, without something “bigger than ourselves” (i.e. God, the Universe…) setting the rules, then we are only making up our own rules – leading us to the one law of Athiesm – everything is moral if you can get away with it.
Don’t try and make this about religion, because it is not. This is a human problem and if religion didn’t exist there would be some other excuse given by the purpetrator, and another unrelated group would be given the blame by people who want to say ‘it’s them not me’.
Al says
Dan – you are on the ball – accurate is bulls eye in a nut shell … this terrorism issue is not only a human problem … if l can summarize all my notes in my other blog just a few moments earlier from now – it is a financial crisis on a world wide corruption basis that has been going on since time immoral. .. masters and slaves have shed more blood and tears over unknown endless master to slave using mental control based on total terrorists tactics so long enacted that we have become nearly totally numb to the effects.
What is it with this world that commends and supports Glenn Stevens of the right to be paid a gregarious voluminous outrageous terms of a “wage” and makes one ounce of a contribution to my bread and milk?
The entire financial worldly inequitable inequality is the greatest ongoing terrorists arena of unlawfullnes.
What a sad sad reality we still have, try getting a flush suited real estate investor to change your car tyre?
Al says
Jon … l cannot know why it is that the first long set of notes that do not remain now here-in only as if can be – “alluded” to – in the immediate now above residual – existing notes. Where is or why were they deleted from this blog ? … can you qualify that yours truly HAS actually *redacted* them ? What was it that was the theoretical issue ? … to have commentary that was extended on the subject discussed in your topic of a nature where you claimed to have * no opinion * you clearly have had an opinion for a topic on the nature of the not fortifying “us against them” but contrarily adopted a excise temperment where it was not stated by me that terrorism was acceptable in any way – as its not as we do all know.
While it is your prerogative to edit as you see fit … a reply note on the redaction is not unreasonable.
Thanks in advance … and or – would it be to presumptive to be that – l could or should (ha ha !) be a bit worried that Glenn Stevens will of course accidentally pass through and now spot me having a shot at him being gilded in forever loving gold leaf … (just to help keep his retirement sovereignty in history).?
Glenn Jackson says
The Catholic church is one of the most wealthiest organisations in the world, yet due to power factions, business & financial decisions within the organisation, chose not to act on pedophile accusations until they were forced into a position to do so. ISIS made billions of dollars in the illegal oil & drug trades until the US interrupted their supply lines by targeted strikes. Scientology is used by the majority of its constituents as a tax haven & uses enforcer tactics on anyone who leaves its fold. Like it or not power games, greed & money are also involved in religions. My point being that these religions are telling their followers how to become better Christians, Muslims, Scientoligists etc, & if one takes themselves outside the controlling mechanisms of the beliefs & adopt’s what is good in the beliefs, & acts on what is a born innate ability to know right from wrong then we may be getting somewhere.
For example the recent mass shootings in the USA at the Gay night club, where the shooters religion told him that homosexuality should not be tolerated, drove him to carry out the atrocity. He may have had homosexual persuasions himself as he had frequented the night club on quite a few occasions. So imagine if he had lived with this all his life & tried to fight it off but he could not, & decided that he would die fighting of his sexual persuasions as well as taking out all of the other homosexuals in some religious purification & martyrdom.
If this guy had become bigger than his religion, & said to himself that I am going to accept myself for who I am & realise that these other people who he wanted to hurt are someones son, daughter, sister, brother, mother, father etc, & how would he feel if something like this atrocity was placed upon one of his family, then his decision to carry out the act may have changed his mental state of mind.
Empathy as Jon as mentioned makes us all more human & act with good intentions.
Ryan says
Another great Friday No B.S. perspective from Jon. I couldn’t agree more with what you have written. Thanks Jon keep up the good work.
Ryan
ron goddard says
i jon, are you sure you are not a practising psychiatrist? islamic forces were at work in orlando..main actor told the police before they shot him, he was a member of isis and his buddies nicked off when the game was up. its a good way for obama to disarm americans. i mean the guy was using a very hi tech weapon not a little hand gun. as you say we are confused little monkeys in a big jungle. trouble is one has to survive in it….this concrete jungle. cheers, ron
Dan says
Many Australians make the mistake of thinking Americans are ‘just like us’ culturally. Military style weapons are accessible to anyone over there. Maybe you need to cross a few state borders, but you can get them – legally. And just because this toss-pot says he’s with ISIS doesn’t mean he’s ever had contact with them, or that they orchestrated, endorsed or even knew about his actions beforehand (though I’m sure they will encourage others to follow). Given the capacity of the NSA and FBI to investigate after the fact, you be pretty sure that if they say there was no contact between him and ISIS, then most likely there was no contact.
Roger says
Hi Jon, very surprised no one has taken you up on the back rub. As usual a great and insightful post. Nutters will always hide behind religion and extremist groups, which are just another form of religion anyway. The ease with which you can procure weapons in America certainly contributes to these sad events. On the news this morning there were four separate stabbing incidents around Australia, two of them fatal. Had guns been more readily available it would probably have been four fatalities possibly more with potential collateral damage. However despite the gruesome headlines we monkeys are making progress. A century or so ago terrible living conditions for the downtrodden masses saw horrendous crimes perpetrated against them on a daily basis and it was accepted as the norm. Human life does have more value in our times and it is important that we don`t let these horrible events make us loose sight of the progress we as a race are making and yes Jon you are right it is empathy that is improving our lot.