The school system is designed to get you used to losing. Should we motivate the kids with money instead?
I was reading over my bio for some talk I was doing the other day, and I paused on the line, “Jon is a self-made millionaire, even though he failed high-school…. twice.”
It’s a standard line for me, but then I thought about it and rewrote it as, “Jon is a self-made millionaire BECAUSE he dropped out of high school twice.”
“Dropped out” is actually a nice way of putting it. Makes it sound like it was a choice. It was more like I was ejected, the way antibodies remove cancerous cells from the body, ejecting them through pussy wounds in the skin.
Or maybe it’s ejected the way a fighter pilot is ejected from a burning air-craft. (I like that story more. I’ll go with that one. )
School and I didn’t get along. And you could point to the spit-balls, the fighting, the arson allegations but really, these were all symptoms. I just didn’t know how to exist within the system.
And this is what saved me.
Of course I didn’t understand at the time. I was 17. I didn’t even know what ‘system’ meant. If you asked me why I had failed I would have said it was because the principal’s a dickhead and all my teachers are angry lesbians.
Of course that wasn’t the reason. But I was just too young to understand. All I knew was that school made me feel like shit.
Fast-forward a few decades, and now I think I’ve started to figure it out. The reason I was ejected from the wreckage of my burning school is that my principal was a dickhead, my teachers were angry lesbians, AND the schooling system is designed to acclimatise you to losing.
I’ll say that last bit again. The school system is designed to acclimatise you to losing. To being a loser. To giving up on your dreams, and accepting your fate as a quiet and pliable potato.
Think about the grading system.
The grading system is the feedback loop between the school and the student. It lets the student know how they’re going, and how they’re performing in the eyes of the school, and by implication, the eyes of the world.
But the system is rigged.
Imagine you get 95% on a maths test. Perhaps you forgot to carry one of the adverbs. That looks like a good score right. We’ve been taught to see that as a good score.
But what it really says is that you failed to achieve “right”. You got close, but you failed. “Perfection” was available, but you came up short.
Loser.
Same story with grades like A,B+, C etc. It’s all relative to some ideal. What a perfect student would have done. The further you get from A++, the less ideal you are. The more of a loser you are. Until you get to C-, where me and my mates used to hang out. At that point you’re closer to total failure than you are to ideal.
50 shades of loser.
And that might sound like sour grapes come from where I sit. But I remember a young Asian guy in my class. His parents were refugees from Vietnam and they had drummed an incredible work-ethic into him. He was amazing. Every assignment looked like a hand-written invitation to the Queen.
He killed it. And then one day, he slipped up on something, and he got 95% on his test.
He was devastated. He burst into tears.
For the first time, he had tasted failure. The system told him that he was ‘wrong’.
And from that day on, like the rest of us, he had to get used to the system telling him he was a loser (to greater or lesser degrees) until we graduated, acclimatized to the idea that you can never win.
(We don’t like the cogs in the machine getting too uppity.)
While it was a painful process at the time (mostly for my parents), ultimately I was lucky to crash out of the system so early. The problem was that I was still there in the system, asleep.
But I still had a need to prove myself, so I turned to…
… money.
Not via investing, but by following what was taboo back then, my passion. For me, that was music and playing soccer. Fortunately enough, I was a good enough hack at both to make a bit of money to sustain myself.
I didn’t get my investment genes until 10-15 years later… another story for another time. But what I did learn at a young age was…
Money is a much better metric than %’s or grades. And that’s because there’s no upper limit.
So I started wheeling and dealing. From then on, 100% wasn’t my reference point. Break-even was. If I lost money, I felt like I’d lost. But if I broke even or better, I felt like I won.
And it’s not hard to do break-even or better, so slowly I got used to the feeling of winning. I liked it, and it drove me further and harder, til I was making big deals and enjoying big wins.
Something the school system never gives you, by design.
So my suggestion of course is that we should do away with grades and gold stars, and reward school performance with money. Less gold stickers, more gold coins. If we do that, our kids will slowly get used to the feeling of winning.
Or I used to think that. But over time, I saw that my sense of self-worth was becoming attached to whether my deals went well or not.
That’s not ideal either. I don’t want to enslave my happiness to success.
So what’s the ideal? I reckon its to give the kids a sense of self-worth that’s not attached to anything. Teach them to be totally self-sufficient.
Don’t look to some system to see whether you’re a winner or a loser (especially if that system is biased to telling you you’re a loser). Look within yourself.
Teach them that being awesome is its own reward.
And they get to chose what ‘awesome’ is.
Imagine how different the world would be then.
Do you have a process to educate your kids about money?
Are you leaving that work to today’s schooling system?
Is it even a priority for you?
Or are you too busy struggling with your own financial circumstances to even have the focus to help your kids be better at the conversation around money?
Bill says
Good post Jon.
Motivation. You found something that motivated you Jon. The school system didn’t do that for you and it probably doesn’t for 99% of the attendees, as your asian kid example showed. The school system may be flawed and that’s very disappointing, but who knows how to improve it?
You were lucky to find your self-motivation through money, some people just never “get it”.
For me, the fails are still outnumbering the wins.
Dave says
Look at the above Video Bill. That’s how to fix it. It’s just certain “People” do not want to change it because it produces little clones and sheep… that’s just what they want, so they can have obedient workers. Gotta keep feeding the Machine right. Whoever has the best memory wins.
Posting boy says
reminds me of Pink Floyd –
We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it’s just another brick in the wall.
All in all you’re just another brick in the wall.
ALl ina ll your just another brick in the wall”
Tom says
“Perhaps you forgot to carry one of the adverbs”. Love it Jon!!!
As an ex-chalkie, part time Uni student, part time teacher, with a couple of ‘Remedial’ classes, I had a few soccer fanatics – a couple went on to play professionally.
One of my kids was seen by a fellow teacher, sitting under the street light doing her homework in peace and quiet. Another told me he had to go to Grandma’s to do his.
Another of my ‘Remedial Maths’ boys couldn’t handle long division etc, but after I saw him at the race track, picking up bottles and cans, and placing a small bet for him on his selection, (a winner, by the way), I later asked him what my return would be if I put $36 at “nine to five on”. He took about two seconds to work it out.
He bore out your theory that it is self-assuredness which counts, at the end of the day.
In today’s politically correct environment it would never be allowed, but two of us male teachers took small groups of the more disadvantaged boys for authorised weekends of camping & snorkelling etc at our own expense. I am sure that those weekend trips were more advantageous to the boys than any of our formal classes ever were. We enjoyed the trips too. It is much easier to get through to lads when you get to know them in out-of-class situations. If they know that you care for and respect them, they respond very affirmatively, to their own academic advantage.
We had many Jons and Joannes. They gave me more understanding of the basic principles of maths than I ever learned as a school kid.
“When you become a teacher, by your pupils you’ll be taught” (“King & I” – Rogers & Hammerstein)
They were mostly wonderful kids.
Only one was a nasty piece of work – and he was in my A-stream Physics class. He went on to join the police!!! God help us.
ron says
yes it works jon. i do not know and could never figure why i went to school. i left at 15 years and four months..much to the disgust of my erudite father.(a waterside worker lol) and got a job as office boy..and i got money yippeee! and life goes on. now we have all sorts of maniacs running our country..mainly into the ground. money? its like debt and more debt. its a world wide sickness. how are we gonna get back into credit? maybe never. unless we have a big ‘correction’. and that may be on the cards soon. a good article to ponder on jon…i wonder how our milleniums are gonna handle a new world? the future always looks bright…
Indy says
Hey Tom. Unfortunately you were one of the dying breeds of teachers that have all but disappeared. You seemed to have cared. Coming from a new Australian background in the 50’s, our parents only saw the advantages that this country offered and because we came from an oppressed country, Australia became the land of milk and honey. My parents were professional people back in their country and they pushed us kids to that end. But alas, those days are gone. The speed in which society has found itself in demands new skills, new attitudes, a mindset change to take advantage of all the new opportunities that todays world offers. Whether you like it or not, the world is going thru a massive mindset change. Unfortunately, the decisions made by our politicians today are by people who are locked in yesterdays dinosauric (there u r, new word) mentality which effects our education, environment, social welfare etc etc. Non of these people have any vision at all, and those who try are outvoted or pushed to the background. Making mistakes today is the means to success tomorrow. Edison once wrote “I did not fail 1014 times, I worked out what did not work 1014 times” I urge all of you to get a hold of Jack Delosa’s TED talk recently about the failure of the education system. The kids coming thru at the moment are actually pretty good.
Dave says
Great Post Indy… thanks for the reference of the TED talk. See below for my one from Sir Ken Robinson.
Trevor Walkington says
Jon, I am currently a chalkie and I wonder how you got so unlucky as to be in a place where 95% was ever anything but a great result to celebrate. I think as a lad you were suffering from glass 95% full = 5% empty syndrome. Sure schools are not for everyone but neither is what you have become.I work everyday with positive motivated kids (in a government secondary school in a regional city) who appreciate this school and what it does for them, or rather what enables them to do for themselves. Do we succeed with every kid? Of course not but does anyone succeed 100% of the time. Fine, talk up what you do, but do not put down schools because they did not fit you. The evidence shows that most kids who go through school (and that nowadays is most people) get a lot of benefit by doing so. In my world (science) you have just cherry-picked the anecdotal evidence to get to the result you wanted and this is regarded as a poor way to sustain an argument. Wow, with you your sycophantic rantings about the Donald and now this piece of self-serving tripe I wonder how much more of your comments I will be able to take. Tell you what, mate, if you promise not criticize my world (education) I will stop thinking that your world (property investment spruikers) is full of shysters.
Dave says
I push my kids to get that 100% because that is what is needed in this stinking, over inflated property, stupid pathetic government, war for oil world. If they can become a doctor, lawyer, or whatever they can… they should strive for it. My son just finished year 12 and boy, talk about churning kids out to become a part of the machine. All through his education, he was told to study for this test and study for that test. Then comes year 12… and you go through VCE/HSC and they ask a question that seems to almost WANT to trip you up, a questions that you could not possibly know unless you memorised the entire 300 page book. On top of all this he has to remember 5 subjects. Unfortunately, this is the system we have and it is rigged to sort the haves and have nots. Basically, the person with the best memory wins, while the guy with big dreams and a great heart can have a shocking memory and a great attitude and he fails school, because the system tells us what is needed to churn the sheep out.
My other son, excels at school and is in high achievers in high school. Yet, I think he wants to be a builder.. go figure. But, I always tell them if they get a C instead of an A.. that is ok, as long as you know in your heart that you gave it everything you had and tests can never see into your heart or see what you dream about. And most of all, Love or at least LIKE what you do. If you have to be in this machine they set up… then at least do something you like or love.
Dave says
Jon, I agree to a point. We are all different and have different talents. I tell my sons how hard it was for me. No one showed me the way. My parents were financial morons and told me to just get a good job as that is what my Dad did, that was the extent of their advice. I will push my sons to achieve that 100% mark but tell them that if they get a C instead of an A.. that that is ok, as long as you know in your heart that you gave it everything you had. Then no matter what, you will never be a failure and will be better than 100% of people that just gave up. On a side note, I am glad property has worked for you Jon, but I fear for my sons who have to put up with artificial bubble prices of 10% price increases on property every year, Having to compete with cashed up seasoned negative Gearing investors, foreign buyers (from government treason against the people) and some other really dumb stupid laws that benefit the top end of the town. NG reform is needed along with other property influencers that artificially prop up housing. You guys need to grab a coffee and watch this Video. REALLY. It is one of the best videos on education system that you are talking about Jon.. seriously.. watch it.. it is that good. And the guy is Hilariously funny too. http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_how_to_escape_education_s_death_valley
Jason says
Way to stir the pot Jon! I’m a stay at home dad with twin 4yo boys. I think that once you can read and write add some numbers you can get by, so much of the education system is an outdated waste of time.
I take my boys fishing, playing at the park, learning to swim, climb trees, plant vegetables and learn about nature and survival…. You know- old school stuff.
ron says
hi jon ron again. i have read through the comments here. it seems that the ‘commentators’ have wide and varied opinions on your article. some are quite upset ..others well sort of ok. i have 5 sons who have had varied success. two through uni..now working at perth bureau of meteorology and running a micro brewery. my eldest son..good at nothing much really..except saving money is retired at 49. i was at fremantle boys high schoool 1950–52. in my third year (1952) my class was named three junior one ..for professional careers. in second year tech 1 (dumb buggers) was a young pom named alan bond.
i sat in front of a chap named robert jeremiah thomas…this fellow had the distinction of being the second last man to be hanged in w.a.. our school motto was ‘play the game’ . we had a school reunion a month ago(organised by me) and fourteen turned up. i was the youngest one there. as the men rolled in i thought ..gee they look old:-) not me though. we had a good time. most of them were very well off indeed .. a couple of muti millionaires..through entrepeneuralship..(is that a word?). i think that professors and engineers etc. are good at what they do…but money making is not one of them. from what you have written about your background it is quite obvious that ‘making your own way’ is the way to go. education is wonderful…but not guaranteed to make one a millionaire..ask alan bond…no you can’t lol in closing i would like to say good luck to those young people who are going through the present world. it is a real challenge.
NoelA says
I am reading this a bit late however feel strongly enough to still post.
My brother has reports from school that now days would be a good basis to sue the teachers, he has always felt dumb definitely not smart or competent however its far from the truth, he is an awesome bloke who can turn his hand to many tasks of a practical nature and despite having a freehold home still thinks lowly of himself.
For myself I did not do well in class especially maths until the 4th form when I had a lovely lady who was a brilliant teacher and I did so well that year they thought I was hot stuff and put me in the high achievers class next year were the male teacher was very cleaver but could not teach to save him self (I am at a very high end of ability with Excel despite getting 21% score in math)
So yes John I get that when it comes to school its vital that great teachers work in a system that looks for and nurtures what ever it is in a child that will enable them to succeed rather than fit them into a mold/system and as you accurately point out tells them very clearly if they do not get a good number (VCE here in Victoria) then they will be a failure.