Someone asked me the other day where the journey towards the ‘millionaire mindset’ begins. You’re going to be shocked with what my response was.
You wont hear this in the standard self-help section. It rarely ever gets spoken about and not the first thing that comes to mind.
What is it?
Will power.
Will power is a finite resource. Use it up sticking to a diet, and you might have none left to keep your financial journey on track. Here’s some tips, strategies and ideas on how to manage this most precious resource.
Straight up, as much we might like to pretend otherwise, and as much as blog writers (like me) are full of wonderful tips for “thinking yourself rich”, I think the reality is that are actually very few millionaires are “self-made” in the truest sense of the word.
I think there are qualities that successful people share, but most of these people received these qualities as a gift of fate.
I remember the story of a CEO who, as a small child was taken into the country and left by the side of the road. “See you at home,” his mother said as she drove off.
Through that experience, he developed resilience and self-reliance (as well as abandonment issues and a fear of intimacy).
We are not blank slates. We all have different strengths. Some have courage. Some have intelligence. Some have creativity. Some, like myself, have nothing but their dashing good looks to get by in the world.
And so in that sense, everyone’s journey will be different. And the things you need to focus on will be unique to you. I’m full of good ideas, just ask me, but you still need to reflect on your own journey, and decide for yourself where your journey begins.
That said, I think there is one virtue that plays a catalytic role in success. A virtue that activates other virtues, and in whose absence all other virtues are rendered useless.
And that’s will power.
Will power is the engine of success. Courage helps us make bold life-changing decisions, but without will power we can’t follow those decisions up. Intelligence might lay out a wonderful road map for us, but without will power we won’t last the distance.
So my advice to anyone looking to better themselves and their life is take a look under the hood – how’s your will power?
Now traditionally, we’ve thought about will-power as just something you’re born with – like height or eye colour.
But the truth of it is we’re much better off thinking about will power like a muscle.
In that sense, it is something we can develop. By practising will, we can strengthen our will power muscle.
So now you might be thinking, ‘Ok Jon, what’s a will power exercise. Give me a will-power squat.”
And that’s what more and more people are talking about. But I reckon the truth of it is that most people over-use their will power muscles, and are actually suffering will-power fatigue.
Will power is a limited resource. It can run out.
In one psychology experiment, people watched a nature documentary while being seated next to or across the room from a bowl of chocolates. Later, they were given impossible puzzles to solve. Those who were sitting next to the chocolate gave up much sooner than those who weren’t.
It took effort to resist the chocolate temptation. It depleted their will-power reserves, and they threw the towel in much sooner as a result.
To me the take home message is we’ve got to be careful with how we manage our will-power resource. Because we live in a very tempting world.
Walk down the street and there’s chocolate and ice cream and all sorts of tasty things in every corner shop. There goes a bit of our will power.
In the café there are any number of attractive people who aren’t our partner. We don’t let our eyes stray, but there goes some more of our will power.
It’s Jan from accounts birthday morning tea and there’s enough cake for everyone to have seconds. No thanks, Jan, but there’s less will power in the tank again.
The horrors of the world are breaking your heart, but you resist the urge to break down in tears or kick a hole in the side of the bus-stop. Suddenly you’re running on empty.
This is the real drain I reckon. Keeping these crazy beings within the limits of the socially acceptable takes real effort. Modern life is weird and doesn’t come naturally to us. (I’m not alone here right?)
In another psych study, people who were asked to suppress their feelings while they watched an upsetting movie, while others were allowed to respond freely. Those who had to control their feelings gave up sooner on the tasks that followed. Controlling our emotions and our expressions uses up will power.
But we have to suppress and control our feelings all the time. It’s part of being a grown up.
But then we ratchet up the stimulus (endless news, facebook etc.) without allowing the emotional to respond.
The result? Depleted will power.
So I don’t think people don’t have enough will power. I think modern life is just incredibly demanding, and we live in constant will power fatigue.
So what do we do about it?
For the day to day stuff, I think rules can be effective. For example, if you say ‘I only eat sweets after dinner’, or ‘I only have biscuits with a cup of tea’, you can use the decision rule to resist temptation. You don’t have to dip into your will power.
And if you’re burning all your will power keeping your personality and emotions suppressed…? Maybe it’s time to say stuff it. I don’t care what other people think. I’m just going to do and say and feel what I want.
Live my life like a Frank Sinatra / Bon Jovi tribute band.
I know that’s easier said than done, but I think we could all just drop the masks a bit and let our selves live. The world would definitely be a more interesting place…
And we’d all be a lot happier…
And we’d then have a lot more will-power to blow on the things that really matter.
Too simple? Is will-power really a catalyst for success?
Any tips for managing our will power resource?
Any tips for dropping the dead-weight of other peoples’ demands and expectations?
Amanda says
very enlightening 🙂
ralph says
Really interesting point. I think most people weaken when it gets demanding and use a “pre-loaded” excuse to allow them to fail
Sowrabh Behl says
There are other ways to manage will power deeply rooted in mindfulness.
That is, by simply observing your emotions without reacting. Like being a bystander and looking at your own thoughts and feelings. After some practise you notice that addictions come in ‘waves’.
These waves hit highs and go on and off and then subside after no more then 20 mins. After you actually experience this properly you realise that you are not your thoughts and you don’t need to fight them which means less will power required and after more practise its barely any emotional energy required at all.
You simply notice thoughts & urges, which become separate to how you think. This is very different to how everyone thinks normally which is that they normally assume their urges are ‘their own’ and are ‘controlled by it’.
You are not your thoughts. Your the ‘chooser’ of the thoughts.
kaye says
Interesting concept that willpower is finite – given it is a thought process. Recently read malcolm Gladwell’s book David and Goliath – about underdogs, and includes the idea that being disadvantaged when young can turn into an advantage in adult or business world, as it builds resilience. For example dyslexics becoming entrepreneurs as they have to learn other skills to get through school.
Helen says
yes Jon an insightful summation (as usual). Will power is an essential foundation to achieving anything! And absolutely a precious resource. Focus on what is important to you & use your will power for that alone. You have no control over how others behave, what they do or think. But you DO have control over your own actions & re-actions. It’s not difficult to harness will power – it’s just another aspect of our educational lives that is not ‘taught’ as we develop. Will power fades when we become mentally and/or emotionally overwhelmed. These are the times you lean on your inner circle (family, friends etc) to get you through until your personal will power is restored. Even more simple than using mindfulness, how about just acknowledging & practicing with will power – that’s what makes it more ‘power’ ful ! We all have it & we CAN all use it. Choose wisely as they say…
Tom says
Good one Jon,
This gives more credibility to the idea of planning one’s life in advance, a day ahead at least – with occasional additions later. The task of writing down tomorrow’s tasks etc take no willpower – other than deciding to stick to this daily task, which in itself should become progressively easier as practice embeds it into our very being. The next day, with practice, the execution of the tasks according to the written down rota, should require less and less of our reserves of willpower. Perhaps that’s why the system works!!!
Thanks Mate!!! I’ll try to rustle up a bit of will power to decide to create a list for tomorrow – mañana!!!
Jon Giaan says
yeah, I’ve been getting some mileage out of the plan tomorrow today practice lately. And its a shame to waste the fresh energy at the beginning of a day on admin tasks…
andrew says
Good one Jon, If anyone is interested Im reading Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength “Willpower” by Roy F. Baumeister . It provides some fantastic insights into will power and decision fatigue. etc. available on Amazon
Rusti says
Love your stuff Jon, thanks 🙂
Ken. says
Hi Jon, I rarely disagree with you but, I believe imagination is a stronger mindset than willpower. I believe that your sub conscious mind will defeat the willpower in you in the long run. I like to imagine that to even know, is nothing at all, but to imagine is everything.
Clare Harley says
Ken I agree with Jon. Sorry. Imagination I have and find it a great resource. BUT to much imagination and not enough will power will have you starting to many projects at once.
Ken. says
Hi Clare, I only do one project at a time. I imagine I’ve finished before I start and that’s a good image to work to. It’s a bit like giving up smoking. Willpower is very hard to stick to. Good if you can do it and are on the right track, but if not, I liken it a bit to pig headedness. Well, it’s good for me and I thought it may help someone else out there. I think it would be better on the heart and mind. Cheers.
Will says
Willpower… A bloody CD and book right there! I watched my Dad lose everything at 55… Through will power built a property empire, even while his staff defrauded him twice and he had to build his own house on weekends for five years with done family help and no help from his mates… He said ‘never allow the situation to rule your soul’. He retired with more after a 15 year willpower journey with only a desire to win…Jon by far your best story / lesson. Will