I show you a totally above-board way of bribing the Prime Minister, not that anyone seems to care…
Ok, imagine this. The secret order of Templar Space Lizards has gathered together. They drinking brandy (or virginal blood) from fine crystal glasses, deep in their velvet and chestnut wood lined lair.
One of them has just become the leader of a small, supposedly free, nation.
He’s hitting up the other Templar Space Lizard Knights for more money to carry out his evil plans.
The other Knights say no. What have you done for us lately, they say. We need to see more out of you, young knight. Give us something to invest in.
But then, a journalist manages to escape with a transcript of the meeting, and he publishes it in his paper.
The public see that their supposed democracy is a sham, and they rise up in an orgy of violence and revenge and witty social media memes.
Finally, the Templar Space Lizard Knights are cast out, and democracy is saved.
An American President, on a war boat safely anchored in Hawaii, claims the credit.
Sounds far fetched, right? You could never sell it to Hollywood.
But then read this article from the AFR..
The Turnbull government’s strained relationship with corporate Australia has come under more duress following some heated exchanges between the Prime Minister and the nation’s leading chief executives at a private dinner in Sydney on Monday night.
…The dinner was attended by board members of the Business Council of Australia – president Grant King, chief executive Jennifer Westacott, Richard Goyder, Ian Narev and Catherine Tanna. Other CEOs and BCA members included the ANZ’s Shayne Elliott and BHP’s Andrew Mackenzie. The dinner was held in the board room of Sydney law firm King & Wood Mallesons.
One source said Mr Turnbull, who handed over $1.8 million of his own money to help the cash-strapped Liberal Party get through the 2016 election campaign, prevailed upon corporate Australia to help out more.
…Another source said… “There hasn’t been support for big business why would we support the government on anything?”
There was universal support for the company tax cuts and a reaffirmation from business that the government must persist with trying to legislate the reminder of its plan which, by 2026-27, would deliver a company tax rate of 25 per cent for all corporations.
As a former treasurer of the Liberal Party, Mr Turnbull knows how hard it is to get money out of donors, he said.
“They have got to have something to invest in. It’s not like here’s our money and we’re going to back you.”
Um… That’s pretty much the first part of my story.
And the second? Well, I ran some social media analytics on “Violent Uprising”, and there’s barely a murmur.
For some reason, and it still baffles me why, we think this is normal.
The Prime Minister is sitting down to a private dinner with the richest and most powerful people in the country.
He asks them for more money.
They say, well, you haven’t done much for us lately. You’ve got to give us something to ‘invest’ in. It’s not like our political donations are just charity, you know.
Except that they are “charity”. That’s what we’re asked to believe whenever anyone wonders whether it’s a good idea to let billionaires buy politicians.
“Oh no, political donations are not about buying influence. We’re just happy to support Australia’s glorious democracy.”
It’s a lie so ridiculous it’s breath-taking when you stop and think about it. And yet somehow we’re expected to believe that politicians can govern in the public interest when private money is paying the bills.
What’s worse, it feels like politicians are getting more brazen about it. Like, they’ve just stopped pretending that a career in politics isn’t mostly about setting yourself up for a cruisy and well paid appointment, post-politics.
Remember when Ian MacFarlane resigned from parliament. He was the resources minister in the Abbott government, and oversaw the knifing of the resource tax.
Abbott got up in parliament and said on the day of his retirement:
“(Killing the MRRT) was a magnificent achievement by the member for Groom in his time as minister … and I hope the sector will acknowledge and demonstrate their gratitude to him in his years of retirement from this place.”
He actually said that. In public.
And what do you think he meant by “demonstrate their gratitude”? That maybe they would send him some flowers once a year on his birthday? Or that they would “look after him” financially?
As it turns out, and I’m sure its just coincidence, within months, MacFarlane was appointed to the highly paid role of CEO of the Queensland Resources Council.
There was also some talk of some flowers.
Now the Coalition does have a policy that politicians should wait at least 18 months before taking up positions like this, for modesty. But MacFarlane argued that the QRC was a state body, and he was a federal minister, so there was no conflict.
Yup.
Politicians are paid generous pensions so they don’t get lured into conflicts like this.
Now you might say, what’s the problem? MacFarlane’s left politics.
But it’s all about signalling.
You want to know how to bribe the Prime Minister and be totally above board about it?
Find a previous Prime Minister – I’m sure Kevin Rudd would be up for it – and pay them a ridiculous amount for something ridiculous. I’m thinking the $500K Hilary Clinton was paid to go and do balloon animals at the Goldman Sachs Christmas party.
Then you call up the current Prime Minister and say, “Oh, did you hear I paid Kevin Rudd $5 million to do a nudie run at my mates bucks party? Anyway, on a completely unrelated note, I’d like to talk to you about these annoying anti-slavery regulations.”
The message is very, very clear. Look after us, and we’ll look after you. Give us something to ‘invest in’ and we’ll invest in you.
And democracy, as we like to imagine it is when we’re bombing other countries in the name of freedom, is a joke.
This is where we’re at.
And yup, still nothing on those social media analytics.
At least give me a meme people.
How else could you bribe the PM in the current system?
Bill says
You see it and I see it Jon. I’m sure many others do.
Why do we allow it to continue?
Maybe lack of leadership offering a viable alternative?
Maybe the silent majority are content with being almost comfortable?
Unfortunately I don’t have the answer.
Kiwi says
Bribes, as you say, take various forms. That being the case, the way to implement them take even more forms. That’s why it’s difficult to pin them down. Besides which, there is absolutely no effective will for them to be pinned down.
The problem is that “Democracy” is really a farce and a “total” failure (i.e. It works, for the rich.) It doesn’t matter which party is actually in “power”, the same games continue behind the closed doors. It’s not government by the people at all. It’s just the con that makes different sections of the population think “we are winning” this time, when it’s just the wallpaper colour that’s different.
The people in government are as much part of it as the big money capitalists, as you so well describe. And NONE of them wants laws that would bring any of them to Justice for what they are doing, so of course, they don’t pass any laws that might risk that happening. (Law is made by lawyers, for lawyers…) Just watch how any politician to suggest such sacrilege gets crushed, demonised or scandalised.
It’s much the same in NZ. We have a Government body called the Judicial Conduct Commission. That’s where you can send your complaints about judges, so you don’t FEEL that there is no redress against wildly out of control judges. They receive loads of complaints, but the judges are always found to be “above (formal) censure.” The lawyers operate a similar system, except that occasionally they do toss out non-compliant scapegoats. Lawyers who attempt to challenge judges are especially at great risk, but it’s simply in order to maintain “public faith” in the system. A united front, and all that.
That’s the GREAT thing about “Democracy”. Things eventually devolve into two major parties, two sides, in “opposition” to one another. So, the population that falls for this remains hopelessly and permanently divided, and thus, can never agree to do what really needs to be done. It’s beautiful isn’t it? How we are completely disempowered, despite “having a vote.”
In fact, the Americans have the practice of political propaganda down to a very fine art. Presidential Elections can divide the vote to 50% +/- 0.1%, with a win by the minority to boot.
Jon, wasn’t it the Greeks who got it right, centuries ago? Never choose anyone to lead you, who actually wants the job.
Kiwi says
P.S. Jonno, that AFR article is Subscribers Only, so there you have it. The masses are not to know!
David Hancock says
Right on Jon!……On another note were you aware that Australia these days runs on 7 days supply of fuel? Does that not leave us awfully vulnerable? So why Mal and that fabulous protector of public liberty Dutton carry on about Terrorism they completely ignore the fact that this country could be crippled by a couple of tankers torpedoed….
Rick Eason says
The word democracy is incapable of accurate definition. What about “government of the people, by the people for the people”. Ask yourself, where has that ever happened? Most people have trouble tying their own shoe laces, let alone governing a nation. People need leaders.
Australia is among the most democratic nations on earth, but fortunately, we make no pretense of being a democracy. We are a constitutional monarchy with representative government and our Queen’s exemplary life of service should spur us to action.
If you don’t like what is going on, change your representative to one with the courage and character to publicly oppose what you dislike – then have the guts to actively support him/her. How many Aussies do that? And how many are too cynical, too lazy, or too involved in their own lower-level forms of corruption (e.g. tax cheating, taking “sickies” when healthy, grasping for government handouts when they could provide for themselves, bludging on the boss, etc).
Our ANZAC forbears would be horrified at the self-consumed whingers who don’t care enough about our community to commit to getting things changed. Civic responsibility is not fulfilled by choosing some political party five minutes before we vote and carelessly handing them the absolute power that “corrupts absolutely.”
We’ve got the government we deserve. It’s time to stop whinging and accept personal responsibility for changing things as William Wilberforce, Hannah More, Lord Robert Raikes, Lord Shaftesbury, the first and second AIFs and so many others who handed us the unparalleled justice, freedom and prosperity that we are frittering away by inaction.
Oh, and by the way, the potential for corruption is the same whether it is Turnbull seeking funds from “capitalists”, or Shorten seeking funds from big “socialist” trade unions.
ron goddard says
jonno why did you leave my manuscript out? the thing was there 6 hours ago now it has been deleted.
i didn’t use any swear words or denigrate anyone (who didn’t deserve it) so if you aren’t gonna print my stuff. stick it!! i cannot stand bias. i think that you are prig..self opinionated and arrogant. .so there lol
and i take great pleasure in saying that. you have elevated yourself above us mere mortals…such is the mind of mindless men. no cheers from ron
Kathy says
Google “Game of Mates”, a book by Cameron Murray, a University of Qld lecturer, and see how it’s done by developers at Council level.
We point the finger at some places where you need to slip a few bills to the local constabulary or government officials to get anything done and get on our high horse about that, but we are unarguably much worse than that, at all levels of government.
There’s a reason Australia ranked very high on the International Corruption Index.
MattBP says
You touch on it Jon and Kathy alludes to it but two guys who’ve hit the nail on the head and expose how deep the backhanders and favours are entrenched throughout our political system are Cameron K. Murray & Paul Frijters in their recently published book, Game Of Mates, How Favours Bleed The Nation. A terrific read with answers and calls to actions.