No B.S Friday: I didn’t turn out like this by accident.
Some people think I’m a narcissist.
True story. It’s crazy. I’m so humble. Nobody does humble like I do. I have a natural talent for humble.
No, they think I’m a narcissist because I have a high opinion of myself.
And it’s true. I think I’m pretty great. I enjoy being me. I count myself very lucky to be born me and to be living this life.
That manifests as a robust ego, a thick skin, and a strong level of self-confidence.
It manifests as things we think are unusual. For example:
· I’m not plagued by self-doubt. My inner-critic is pretty quiet (and if he ever gets out of his box again I’m going to smack him on the nose) and my self-talk is encouraging and affirming.
· If things don’t work out, I don’t take it personally. It’s a quirk of circumstance, not a reflection of a flaw in the making of my fundamental soul.
· I expect everything I touch to turn to gold. I fully expect that the application of my skills will be met with remarkable good luck, and things will just have a way of working themselves out.
I am aware that this is not ‘normal’. I am aware that this is not most people’s experience. I am aware that is so alien to most people that it’s almost inconceivable.
But I do find it pretty funny that my self-confidence is pathologized – it’s treated as some sort of psychiatric disorder in someone who’s brains just not wired right.
And never mind that the people who are pathologizing it never realise that living with a vicious inner-critic, who interprets every failing in life as stemming from deep personal flaws might not actually be ‘normal’.
That they might be ones living with the pathology.
And what’s the metric anyway? My self-confidence makes me highly-functional, successful and happy. That I-hate-my-own-guts mindset makes you dysfunctional and sad.
So on that basis, I’d say my brain is the one performing in a healthy way.
But no, let’s pathologize the happy successful guy.
The other thing about this is that people doing the pathologizing (hopelessly unqualified for dishing out psychiatric diagnoses by the way) think that it’s a quirk. That my brain mis-fired and I wound up with self-confidence.
It didn’t happen that way at all.
My confidence, my encouraging and affirming inner-voice, my deep and unshakeable belief in my own worth – these weren’t an accident. They were all carefully and consciously cultivated.
I worked hard on my self-talk. I worked hard on building up faith in my own talents and in the abundance of the world. I worked hard to disconnect what happens in life from the virtues or flaws in my soul – to stop myself drawing a connection between those unconnected things.
So it was all cultivated.
In that sense, it’s not a hardware question. It’s not about my brain. It’s about my software – it’s about my programming and conditioning.
And I just chose to run an operating system that to me seemed best calibrated for success and happiness.
And you know, I’m going to say it worked.
The work I did early on bears fruit on a daily basis.
So give me a break from amateur psychiatric diagnoses. There’s nothing wrong with my brain.
I am successful and happy, because that is what I have chosen to be.
You know, just has you have chosen to hate yourself and have a miserable time.
… and then decided to tell yourself that this is ‘normal’.
JG.